Originally published in D-Tales here.
Yesterday was the final day of operation for Greektown mainstay New Hella's (at least, as we know it).
After 107 years in business, the restaurant around which Greektown was built (not to mention the restaurant that inspired the opening of their own competitors), has finally closed its doors. Why? Well, there is much speculation on that, but after sifting through the rumors for useful information, it sounds like it simply comes down to one thing: owner Gus Anton is old.
He's 80. He's been doing this since birth. He's tired. He's old.
But being old doesn't mean he's dumb. This from the rumor mill: Hella's was actually sold off for quite a chunk of change, and was already operating under the new ownership as of this weekend.
Apparently the location will remain a restaurant, though whether or not it remains a Greek restaurant is still unknown.
Either way, it is still sad to see the old owners, and original family, step down. New Hella's is a bit of Detroit history, and helped shape the popular Greektown area of downtown proper, providing a central zone of business and pleasure for Greek immigrants, and introducing Detroiters to authentic Greek cuisine. Still, sometimes progress requires change (a little bit of "out with the old"), so let's hope the new owners can make this spot as legendary as the old ones did.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Remembering Twingo's
The other night I was out at Tuesday Nights Doggystyle at the Park Bar and got into a discussion about Detroit's favorite former Euro Cafe, Twingo's.
Ah, what a great spot that was. The vibe was just so terribly, terribly eclectic, and the food was fantastic. It appealed to both the artsy Midtowners and suburban food snobs alike. With Depeche Mode on the speakers, local art adorning the walls, and a menu to rival any big-city bistro, Twingo's just had a vibe that was unique unto itself and Detroit. Oh, and the Steak Au Poivre with gorgonzola butter? Tres magnifique.
I thought the prices were very reasonable for the caliber and quality of the restaurant, though that was the subject of some debate. Comparable to places like Union Street in pricing, only far superior in quality and presentation, and with a French-heavy wine list with few selections topping $30.00, the Twingo's experience was a real value, and a great way to endcap an evening at the Theatre.
And people loved it. Twingo's was all the rage when it was open before...then it closed. And it was sad. Then it reopened! New management, a remodel, and still a great menu...so what happened to close it down once again, and apparently once and for all?
John Lopez is what happened. He's the guy who was hired on to manage Atlas Global Bistro a few years back and almost got them closed down. (Two years later and they're still paying up back taxes that went unpaid during his tenure there.) Then Twingo's reopened, and hired him on--purportedly he's a great ideas guy, but not so great with the whole "business" aspect. Not too long later and Twingo's closed its doors, and why? Back-owed taxes. Either Lopez isn't aware that these are things that need to get paid and he, as the general manager, needs to make sure they get paid, or he just doesn't like to pay them. (Incidentally, this is the same reason the Buzz Bar closed--and has still not reopened.) Regardless, John Lopez seems to have the Midas Touch of Death for any restaurant that takes him in. I feel bad for the next sucker who hires him based on his "impressive" resume without doing a thorough background check--it's not just his bad luck that keeps getting restaurants closed around him. I mean really, at one point does it stop being everyone else and start being you, John?
[SIDEBAR: Agave was another one of Lopez's great ideas--and I'm not being facetious, it really was great, and apparently their closure had little to do with his management...some pissing contest with the landlord, or something. It would be great to see that place reopen. Lopez really is a great ideas guy...just not so good at making like a manager.]
The loss of Twingo's saddened me deeply. This really was one of Detroit's dining gems. I suppose we can only hope for a third-time's-the-charm scenario, but from what I understand it isn't very likely. I guess I'll have to find somewhere else that makes a panna cotta with Faygo sauce. *Sigh*
Ah, what a great spot that was. The vibe was just so terribly, terribly eclectic, and the food was fantastic. It appealed to both the artsy Midtowners and suburban food snobs alike. With Depeche Mode on the speakers, local art adorning the walls, and a menu to rival any big-city bistro, Twingo's just had a vibe that was unique unto itself and Detroit. Oh, and the Steak Au Poivre with gorgonzola butter? Tres magnifique.
I thought the prices were very reasonable for the caliber and quality of the restaurant, though that was the subject of some debate. Comparable to places like Union Street in pricing, only far superior in quality and presentation, and with a French-heavy wine list with few selections topping $30.00, the Twingo's experience was a real value, and a great way to endcap an evening at the Theatre.
And people loved it. Twingo's was all the rage when it was open before...then it closed. And it was sad. Then it reopened! New management, a remodel, and still a great menu...so what happened to close it down once again, and apparently once and for all?
John Lopez is what happened. He's the guy who was hired on to manage Atlas Global Bistro a few years back and almost got them closed down. (Two years later and they're still paying up back taxes that went unpaid during his tenure there.) Then Twingo's reopened, and hired him on--purportedly he's a great ideas guy, but not so great with the whole "business" aspect. Not too long later and Twingo's closed its doors, and why? Back-owed taxes. Either Lopez isn't aware that these are things that need to get paid and he, as the general manager, needs to make sure they get paid, or he just doesn't like to pay them. (Incidentally, this is the same reason the Buzz Bar closed--and has still not reopened.) Regardless, John Lopez seems to have the Midas Touch of Death for any restaurant that takes him in. I feel bad for the next sucker who hires him based on his "impressive" resume without doing a thorough background check--it's not just his bad luck that keeps getting restaurants closed around him. I mean really, at one point does it stop being everyone else and start being you, John?
[SIDEBAR: Agave was another one of Lopez's great ideas--and I'm not being facetious, it really was great, and apparently their closure had little to do with his management...some pissing contest with the landlord, or something. It would be great to see that place reopen. Lopez really is a great ideas guy...just not so good at making like a manager.]
The loss of Twingo's saddened me deeply. This really was one of Detroit's dining gems. I suppose we can only hope for a third-time's-the-charm scenario, but from what I understand it isn't very likely. I guess I'll have to find somewhere else that makes a panna cotta with Faygo sauce. *Sigh*
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Plaka Cafe: Still Open, Still Disgusting
Originally published in D-Tales here.
$1.5 million dollars in tax evasion later, and the Plaka Cafe is still open. Now, who knows how long this will last--the owners could go the route of La Shish and flee the country with a few mil. (Actually, they can't--they've already been arraigned and are currently out on bail--and I GAR-RON-TEE you they can't leave the country, much less the state.) When the feds raided the place in December of 2006, they found more than $700,000 in cash stashed away inside the restaurant. Further investigation yielded a decade's worth of unfiled taxes. If owners Thomas Karadimas and Constantinos Karadimas are found guilty of all pending charges, this will turn out to be the largest case of tax evasion in Michigan's history (take THAT, La Shish!).
Late-night drunken diners, fear not: Plaka Cafe remains open at this time, though one can always speculate if it will remain so if both owners end up in the clink. After an evening of heavy boozing, one can still hit up this 24-hour coney island for some of the best worst food in Detroit.
No, really, the food here is actually quite nasty, but since it is really one of the only late-night options in the city, they maintain a very steady client base of hungry drunks.
(WHY you wouldn't just hit up White Castle is beyond me. There's one on Michigan Ave., not too far west of downtown proper. If you're in Midtown, there's McDonald's. And don't give me that "I don't want to drive anywhere" crap--how the hell else are you getting home to the 'burbs?)
From the rumor mill: apparently Plaka, much like many of the other spots in Greektown, has rumored Greek mob ties...I know, I know, I've been flinging around a lot of mob accusations lately, but apparently if there's one thing that our culturally diverse metropolitan area is good at, it's crime syndicates and terrorist affiliations. I can't make this shit up, people. No wonder our local FBI branch needs a new building...
Also from the rumor mill: apparently there was a Blind Pig upstairs? As in, drinking in a public place illegally after hours and witnessing all sorts of illegal dealings in the form of gambling, drugs, and perhaps even prositution? I wanna see; I wanna see!!!!
$1.5 million dollars in tax evasion later, and the Plaka Cafe is still open. Now, who knows how long this will last--the owners could go the route of La Shish and flee the country with a few mil. (Actually, they can't--they've already been arraigned and are currently out on bail--and I GAR-RON-TEE you they can't leave the country, much less the state.) When the feds raided the place in December of 2006, they found more than $700,000 in cash stashed away inside the restaurant. Further investigation yielded a decade's worth of unfiled taxes. If owners Thomas Karadimas and Constantinos Karadimas are found guilty of all pending charges, this will turn out to be the largest case of tax evasion in Michigan's history (take THAT, La Shish!).
Late-night drunken diners, fear not: Plaka Cafe remains open at this time, though one can always speculate if it will remain so if both owners end up in the clink. After an evening of heavy boozing, one can still hit up this 24-hour coney island for some of the best worst food in Detroit.
No, really, the food here is actually quite nasty, but since it is really one of the only late-night options in the city, they maintain a very steady client base of hungry drunks.
(WHY you wouldn't just hit up White Castle is beyond me. There's one on Michigan Ave., not too far west of downtown proper. If you're in Midtown, there's McDonald's. And don't give me that "I don't want to drive anywhere" crap--how the hell else are you getting home to the 'burbs?)
From the rumor mill: apparently Plaka, much like many of the other spots in Greektown, has rumored Greek mob ties...I know, I know, I've been flinging around a lot of mob accusations lately, but apparently if there's one thing that our culturally diverse metropolitan area is good at, it's crime syndicates and terrorist affiliations. I can't make this shit up, people. No wonder our local FBI branch needs a new building...
Also from the rumor mill: apparently there was a Blind Pig upstairs? As in, drinking in a public place illegally after hours and witnessing all sorts of illegal dealings in the form of gambling, drugs, and perhaps even prositution? I wanna see; I wanna see!!!!
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Zaccaro's Still Set to Open
Originally published in D-Tales here.
After some general hullabaloo over liquor licensing for retail sales and some very technical blah blah blah legalese, Zaccaro's Market is still set to open this month. March 31st is the date (yes, that's also the Tigers Home Opener, so plan accordingly), and as far as owner Cindy Warner has been instructed, this date is solid. The licensing needed to sell beer and wine on the premises should be in place, and all will be well in the world of gourmet grocery shopping in the D.
As noted before, there will be an impressive selection of imported meats and cheeses, a full-scale bakery, a center kitchen area at which cooking classes will be offered, pre-made meals prepared by executive chefs, and more to tickle your culinary delights.
After some fear that the opening would be held up indefinitely, it appears that everything is finally in place...I'll see you at the cheese counter!
After some general hullabaloo over liquor licensing for retail sales and some very technical blah blah blah legalese, Zaccaro's Market is still set to open this month. March 31st is the date (yes, that's also the Tigers Home Opener, so plan accordingly), and as far as owner Cindy Warner has been instructed, this date is solid. The licensing needed to sell beer and wine on the premises should be in place, and all will be well in the world of gourmet grocery shopping in the D.
As noted before, there will be an impressive selection of imported meats and cheeses, a full-scale bakery, a center kitchen area at which cooking classes will be offered, pre-made meals prepared by executive chefs, and more to tickle your culinary delights.
After some fear that the opening would be held up indefinitely, it appears that everything is finally in place...I'll see you at the cheese counter!
Monday, March 3, 2008
La Shish No More
Originally published in D-Tales here; edited for content.
Popular Middle Eastern restaurant chain La Shish closed its doors yesterday. 11 metro Detroit locations, the Dearborn headquarters, and 305 employees were affected by this decision. After nearly 3 years of bad publicity and whispered ties to Hezbollah (defined by the American government as a Lebanese terrorist group), the chain finally went under due to nearly $12 million dollars in owed taxes.
When the feds raided the home and headquarters of owner Talal Chahine in April 2005 seeking evidence of tax fraud, Chahine fled the country with $20 million skimmed from the business to dodge his indictment, sticking his wife, Elfat Al Aouar, to face both the tax evasion charges as well as her own charge of immigration fraud (turns out that the marriage wasn't one based on love and committment--and I guess when you marry someone to help them get a green card, it's morally acceptable to bail on them when you're slapped with some serious federal offenses).
Since then, the restaurant chain has been at the center of some serious rumor-mongering, with the purported Hezbollah ties causing the most gasps. Just last week, El Auoar was sentenced to 90 days in jail for immigration fraud, to be served consecutively with an 18-month sentence for tax evasion. Her citizenship was, naturally, revoked. Ah, the things we'll do for love. Or, the things we'll do for a green card when your husband flees the country and leaves you standing there with a dumbfounded expression on your face as the feds raid your home.
[Edit]
Getting back on topic (I'm a big fan of the digressive rant), it's a shame La Shish had to close. This restaurant chain popularized Middle Eastern cuisine for the non-Middle Easterners of metro Detroit, and was quickly becoming a staple in the diet of many metro Detroiters (in the Free Press article, a woman is interviewed bemoaning her loss, saying "Now what am I going to eat?", and I know many others who will say the same). It was just one more thing that made our metro area more of a cultural melting pot...now it's just one more thing to give Detroit a bad rep.
I will miss the Fatoush, though.
Popular Middle Eastern restaurant chain La Shish closed its doors yesterday. 11 metro Detroit locations, the Dearborn headquarters, and 305 employees were affected by this decision. After nearly 3 years of bad publicity and whispered ties to Hezbollah (defined by the American government as a Lebanese terrorist group), the chain finally went under due to nearly $12 million dollars in owed taxes.
When the feds raided the home and headquarters of owner Talal Chahine in April 2005 seeking evidence of tax fraud, Chahine fled the country with $20 million skimmed from the business to dodge his indictment, sticking his wife, Elfat Al Aouar, to face both the tax evasion charges as well as her own charge of immigration fraud (turns out that the marriage wasn't one based on love and committment--and I guess when you marry someone to help them get a green card, it's morally acceptable to bail on them when you're slapped with some serious federal offenses).
Since then, the restaurant chain has been at the center of some serious rumor-mongering, with the purported Hezbollah ties causing the most gasps. Just last week, El Auoar was sentenced to 90 days in jail for immigration fraud, to be served consecutively with an 18-month sentence for tax evasion. Her citizenship was, naturally, revoked. Ah, the things we'll do for love. Or, the things we'll do for a green card when your husband flees the country and leaves you standing there with a dumbfounded expression on your face as the feds raid your home.
[Edit]
Getting back on topic (I'm a big fan of the digressive rant), it's a shame La Shish had to close. This restaurant chain popularized Middle Eastern cuisine for the non-Middle Easterners of metro Detroit, and was quickly becoming a staple in the diet of many metro Detroiters (in the Free Press article, a woman is interviewed bemoaning her loss, saying "Now what am I going to eat?", and I know many others who will say the same). It was just one more thing that made our metro area more of a cultural melting pot...now it's just one more thing to give Detroit a bad rep.
I will miss the Fatoush, though.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Harbor House in Detroit
Originally published in D-Tales here.
East-side mainstay (Macomb County represent!) Harbor House has finally opened a second location, and this one is in Detroit.
The Harbor House in Clinton Township (on what I like to refer to as the barren wasteland that is Groesbeck, nearby other mysteriously long-running and lone-standing establishments such as the Rusty Nail Saloon and Chaplin's Comedy Club) has been open for 35 years now. Detroiters who might have never once ventured to the east side might still be familiar with the Harbor House, as they tend to make an appearance at every major food-related event (like Taste Fest...sorry, CityFest) and summertime festivals in the city. This is a pretty classic seafood, chicken, and ribs kinda place. Nothing too stand-out here; your culinary senses won't be set atingle by any means, but they're good for a nice old-fashioned American-style hearty meal of meat and deep-fried, butter-soaked fish.
The Harbor House is set up in the old Cock 'n Bull location at 440 Clinton Street (it's about time something else opened there...but please, a moment of silence for the fabulous and short-lived Cock 'n Bull). 'Tis a good place to grab a burger on a lunch break or before a Tigers game (Opening Day is 39 days away! Do you have your tickets yet? Speaking of which, I'd better make sure I have mine...). They're also really big on All-You-Can-Eat Seafood, which is really a good deal if you go on an empty stomach and eat your weight in crab legs. There are also 4 different levels of "All-You-Can-Eat," so if you don't quite want to fork over the dough for King Crab you can still have a big, bottomless meal of London Broil steak, shrimp, deep-fried mushrooms, and more--and at about half the price.
Parking in that 'hood sucks, though--just figured I would warn you.
East-side mainstay (Macomb County represent!) Harbor House has finally opened a second location, and this one is in Detroit.
The Harbor House in Clinton Township (on what I like to refer to as the barren wasteland that is Groesbeck, nearby other mysteriously long-running and lone-standing establishments such as the Rusty Nail Saloon and Chaplin's Comedy Club) has been open for 35 years now. Detroiters who might have never once ventured to the east side might still be familiar with the Harbor House, as they tend to make an appearance at every major food-related event (like Taste Fest...sorry, CityFest) and summertime festivals in the city. This is a pretty classic seafood, chicken, and ribs kinda place. Nothing too stand-out here; your culinary senses won't be set atingle by any means, but they're good for a nice old-fashioned American-style hearty meal of meat and deep-fried, butter-soaked fish.
The Harbor House is set up in the old Cock 'n Bull location at 440 Clinton Street (it's about time something else opened there...but please, a moment of silence for the fabulous and short-lived Cock 'n Bull). 'Tis a good place to grab a burger on a lunch break or before a Tigers game (Opening Day is 39 days away! Do you have your tickets yet? Speaking of which, I'd better make sure I have mine...). They're also really big on All-You-Can-Eat Seafood, which is really a good deal if you go on an empty stomach and eat your weight in crab legs. There are also 4 different levels of "All-You-Can-Eat," so if you don't quite want to fork over the dough for King Crab you can still have a big, bottomless meal of London Broil steak, shrimp, deep-fried mushrooms, and more--and at about half the price.
Parking in that 'hood sucks, though--just figured I would warn you.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Not Much "Rocks" About the Hard Rock Cafe
Originally published in D-Tales here.
This past Friday, the Detroit Guerrillas headed out to "get rocked at Hard Rock." The turnout was impressive--we had the bar area packed and the 3 bartenders hustled all night long--but the atmosphere? Bleh.
Let it be known that the Hard Rock Cafe is one of my least favorite bars in all of Detroit. Why? Well, this is Detroit's first (and please God please let it be only) foray into corporate restauranteuring. With the exception of the occassional Subway or Au Bon Pain, most restaurants in Detroit are independently owned and operated (and I cannot begin to express just how this has helped shape the dining culture of Detroit, so often underrated but so unique and creative in its own right). Hard Rock is the big glaring exception here, and it shows. Boy, does it show.
There's nothing quite like a corporate executive chef cranking out menus from his office suite in California and ensuring all food items are ordered from the same vendors around the world so as to create a a sense of consistency throughout all franchises, offering travelers a sense of security as they traipse through foreign lands, unsure of what to eat for fear of not being able to read the menus and accidentally ordering something too exotic for their palette, until they see the beacon of the neon Hard Rock guitar sign, creating a sense of familiarity and a feeling of home. Yes, there is little the (American) foreign traveler enjoys more than feeling a sense of home in their meal options. This is the ultimate in McTravel Syndrome. This is the crowd the international chain of Hard Rock Cafes panders too. And yay for Detroit for being able to share in this homogenizing experience.
First of all, by Hard Rock Cafe standards, ours just sucks. You would think the birthplace of Motown, Madonna, Eminem, techno music as a genre, rock legends such as Bob Seger and Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, and garage rock as it is known today (with thanks to the White Stripes) would have a lot to show off. Yeah, you would think that. But it doesn't. No, it sure doesn't. A couple of framed publicity stills, maybe an outfit here or there, and a handful of guitars comprises the HRC Detroit collection. Oh, but there is a huge stained glass mural of KISS--who weren't even from Detroit.
Secondly, much like for the midwesterner in Taipei looking for something to eat that will agree with his meat-and-potatoes intestines, the surbanite who wanders into Detroit for a sporting event or for ice skating with the kiddies at Campus Martius will find himself comforted by the neon sign of familiarity (as he has undoubtedly dined at HRCs in Florida on family vaca or Hawaii on his honeymoon). Rather than explore the many other fine dining gems the city has to offer, he goes for what he knows: the Hard Rock Cafe. And to commemorate this experience in the (hush of awe) city, he'll even buy his daughters souvenir T-shirts.
This is the crowd you get at the Hard Rock Cafe.
The menu--good old deep-fried American fare in too-large portions, topped off with ooey-gooey decadent desserts. It's all tasty, don't get me wrong. And as tasty as it is here, it will be exactly the same wherever else in the world one might wander into an HRC. The drinks are way overpriced (2 souvenir-sized beers with 3 refills was $60.00), and the liquor/beer selection is nothing to be impressed by.
The music--okay, I like the music, and they did offer a nice mix of lesser-known metal bands (amongst the corporate rock giants). However, in the 50 years of rock-and-roll the HRC is supposed to be celebrating, they could probably mix in something pre-2002 every once in awhile. How about some Stones? Or the Smiths, that would be cool! But no. Lots of Linkin Park. The Killers. Franz Ferdinand. Sevendust. All new and hip. Nothing that revers the history of rock.
The inside is loud, the clientele irritating, the memorabilia disappointing, the food generic, the drinks expensive...there is really no reason to ever go here ever, unless you need to pander to your own suburbanite friends who need to feel "safe" (both in terms of location and parking as well as food options) when visiting the city--their own understanding of an exotic foreign land.
Tell them to buy a T-shirt to commemorate their foreign travels. It can be added to their collection, right next to the Orlando and Chicago HRC T's.
This past Friday, the Detroit Guerrillas headed out to "get rocked at Hard Rock." The turnout was impressive--we had the bar area packed and the 3 bartenders hustled all night long--but the atmosphere? Bleh.
Let it be known that the Hard Rock Cafe is one of my least favorite bars in all of Detroit. Why? Well, this is Detroit's first (and please God please let it be only) foray into corporate restauranteuring. With the exception of the occassional Subway or Au Bon Pain, most restaurants in Detroit are independently owned and operated (and I cannot begin to express just how this has helped shape the dining culture of Detroit, so often underrated but so unique and creative in its own right). Hard Rock is the big glaring exception here, and it shows. Boy, does it show.
There's nothing quite like a corporate executive chef cranking out menus from his office suite in California and ensuring all food items are ordered from the same vendors around the world so as to create a a sense of consistency throughout all franchises, offering travelers a sense of security as they traipse through foreign lands, unsure of what to eat for fear of not being able to read the menus and accidentally ordering something too exotic for their palette, until they see the beacon of the neon Hard Rock guitar sign, creating a sense of familiarity and a feeling of home. Yes, there is little the (American) foreign traveler enjoys more than feeling a sense of home in their meal options. This is the ultimate in McTravel Syndrome. This is the crowd the international chain of Hard Rock Cafes panders too. And yay for Detroit for being able to share in this homogenizing experience.
First of all, by Hard Rock Cafe standards, ours just sucks. You would think the birthplace of Motown, Madonna, Eminem, techno music as a genre, rock legends such as Bob Seger and Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, and garage rock as it is known today (with thanks to the White Stripes) would have a lot to show off. Yeah, you would think that. But it doesn't. No, it sure doesn't. A couple of framed publicity stills, maybe an outfit here or there, and a handful of guitars comprises the HRC Detroit collection. Oh, but there is a huge stained glass mural of KISS--who weren't even from Detroit.
Secondly, much like for the midwesterner in Taipei looking for something to eat that will agree with his meat-and-potatoes intestines, the surbanite who wanders into Detroit for a sporting event or for ice skating with the kiddies at Campus Martius will find himself comforted by the neon sign of familiarity (as he has undoubtedly dined at HRCs in Florida on family vaca or Hawaii on his honeymoon). Rather than explore the many other fine dining gems the city has to offer, he goes for what he knows: the Hard Rock Cafe. And to commemorate this experience in the (hush of awe) city, he'll even buy his daughters souvenir T-shirts.
This is the crowd you get at the Hard Rock Cafe.
The menu--good old deep-fried American fare in too-large portions, topped off with ooey-gooey decadent desserts. It's all tasty, don't get me wrong. And as tasty as it is here, it will be exactly the same wherever else in the world one might wander into an HRC. The drinks are way overpriced (2 souvenir-sized beers with 3 refills was $60.00), and the liquor/beer selection is nothing to be impressed by.
The music--okay, I like the music, and they did offer a nice mix of lesser-known metal bands (amongst the corporate rock giants). However, in the 50 years of rock-and-roll the HRC is supposed to be celebrating, they could probably mix in something pre-2002 every once in awhile. How about some Stones? Or the Smiths, that would be cool! But no. Lots of Linkin Park. The Killers. Franz Ferdinand. Sevendust. All new and hip. Nothing that revers the history of rock.
The inside is loud, the clientele irritating, the memorabilia disappointing, the food generic, the drinks expensive...there is really no reason to ever go here ever, unless you need to pander to your own suburbanite friends who need to feel "safe" (both in terms of location and parking as well as food options) when visiting the city--their own understanding of an exotic foreign land.
Tell them to buy a T-shirt to commemorate their foreign travels. It can be added to their collection, right next to the Orlando and Chicago HRC T's.
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