Real Detroit Weekly: Zazios

"Allez Cuisine!

'If you miss Chairman Kaga and his outlandish get-ups, your next best bet might be the new Chef's Table at Zazios.

'Zazios in Birmingham is the second location of this nouveau Italian concept restaurant from the Greenleaf Hospitality Group. This new venture is so elaborate, they even built their own building for it in a prime corner at Woodward and Maple Road. Draped in eye-popping fluorescent colors (fuchsia, lime green, orange and cerulean blue), bright fabrics and intricate Italian tiles, Zazios is also accented with dramatic black granite surfaces and flowing, curved lines along the walls, fixtures and seating. Zazios is sure to be the next new hot spot in Birmingham (which isn't short of them lately, thanks to the new South Bar)..."

Read the rest of the article here.

Real Detroit Weekly: Hot Wings Feature

Yes I know Sweetwater Tavern isn't on here.

Now, in it's entirety:

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Here we've got some of the hottest spots serving up the spice ... But fair warning: the pain level ratings scale was determined by someone who likes to feel the burn; adjust to your taste buds accordingly.

Gator Jake's

36863 Van Dyke, Sterling Heights • 586.983.3700

Gator Jake's in Sterling Heights is a no-frills sports bar serving up mandatory sports bar food, like classic hot wings. Spun in their house-made wing sauce made with Frank's Red Hot, dry mustard, garlic powder, black pepper and tomato juice, this is the kind of bright orange, runny hot sauce wings fans crave.

Pain level: 3 — Eat 'em by the dozen, but you'll probably poop orange.

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Nikola's

25225 Telegraph Rd., Southfield • 248.355.4695

Nikola's in Southfield is a very unassuming place, but the food speaks for itself. They do barbecue, and they do it exceedingly well. The broasted chicken wings are a thing of bountiful beauty — one order is only $7.95 and comes with 12 huge pieces, but that's not even the best part. The breading is exceptionally crispy (seriously, it CRUNCHES) and is full of its own well-seasoned flavor. Then the wings are dipped in their homemade sauce and slow-cooked (almost caramelized) with cayenne pepper, molasses, brown sugar, Frank's Red Hot and vinegar. It is thick as honey, glossy, both sweet and tangy ... the flavors are rich and explosive with only the slightest hint of heat.

Pain level: 1 — Just a tickle; like foreplay.

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Your Mother's Food & Spirits

61 North Walnut St., Mt Clemens • 586.468.4444

Named "Best Wings" by the Macomb Daily and a current nominee for WDIV's "Vote 4 the Best," Your Mother's Food & Spirits in Mt. Clemens has a rainbow of 17 different house-made sauces which include five hot sauces: Jamaican, hot garlic, hot, "Devil" and "I Dare You." These big, meaty wings are roasted and fried in oil to order, then sautéed in sauce. The Jamaican has a slightly sweet, smoky flavor with a nice kick from the jerk spice. The hot garlic is light on the heat but strong on the garlic. But the "I Dare You" is a sleeper: the sauce is thicker than marinara sauce, and bright red. Initially you feel nothing. You think to yourself, "I GOT this." Then it begins. The burn is slow, steady and severe. Mouth, meet fresh habaneros.

Pain level: Hot Garlic, 3; Jamaican, 5; "I Dare You," 8.5 — I'm not crying; it's just allergies.

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Rub BBQ Pub

18 West Adams, Detroit • 313.964.0782

Detroit's newest upscale barbecue joint is Rub BBQ Pub, where they have something called "Pig Wings." It's pork on a bone (cut from the shank), and you eat them like wings — with your hands, drenched in your sauce of choice. Their six sauces are all made in-house, including the bright orange buffalo sauce with the classic Tabasco/vinegar flavor. The wing dings are deep-fried and crispy, but for something a little different try the dry rub wings which are smoked in-house (as with all their meats). Wash it all down with one of their 30 draft or 100 bottled beers, including a large selection of Michigan's best brews.

Pain level: 4 — Slather it on thick and you can get a nice sting.

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O'Toole's

4000 Cass Elizabeth Rd., Waterford • 248.683.3494

There are three restaurants in the world making a ghost pepper sauce hot sauce. One of them is O'Toole's in Waterford. Three times hotter than a habanero, the "ghost" pepper has been weaponized by India's Ministry of Defense. And THEY want you to put it in your MOUTH!! You should not eat this. NO ONE should eat this. And yet ... you're curious, aren't you? The pain is instantaneous and unmerciful. It is the (barely) edible equivalent of hydrochloric acid. Practice saying the following lines: "I can't feel the left side of my face."

Pain level: 10 — Has anyone seen my bowels? | RDW

See the original article here.

Frittata: I just paid $21 for a brunch with no booze.

Frittata in Clawson is cute. It's tiny and quaint and charming and cute, like rainbows and kittens and butterfly kisses. See, look:

^Cute, right? Totally. I thought so too. I saddled into my seat and promptly ordered a mimosa, it being the Lord's day and all -- "How about a virgin mimosa?" our server joked. Yikes...I'm not down with virgin anything, so how about you just bring me a coffee instead. (My friend: "You want to go to Black Lotus after this and get a beer?" Me: "Eat quickly.") After making amends with the idea of a mimosaless brunch, I began to study the menu -- true to its name, there's a whole lot of frittatas on the menu. What is a frittata? you may find yourself wondering. Let's pretend for one second we leave in a world without Wikipedia and allow me to tell you: it's like an omelette. Or a quiche. Or a strata. There's eggs. There's some other junk mixed in with the eggs, which can be cheese or vegetables or various pork products (and who doesn't like those? [vegetarians excluded]). Cooking preparations and primary ingredients differ slightly between these various items but ultimately they're all egg-based all-inclusive breakfast dishes, the morning equivalent of a casserole.

^Check out this lounge area, TOTALLY cute. I mean, just really precious and adorable. I want to pinch its cheeks it's so freakin' cute.

^And the stamped paper on the table!!! Cute, right? I mean, really. It's total puppies, which is a term I will now use to describe all things exceptionally cute much like "titties" is used to describe things that are awesome.

So getting back to the frittata. There are lots of options and they all sounded delish; I went with the day's special, the BLT frittata -- pancetta, asiago cheese, roma tomatoes, and a garlic aioli. The frittata itself is pan-fried then baked...and it is a whole lot of grease-soaked egg-loaf, lemme tell ya. This is how I discovered I am not a super-fan of frittatas. Not the fault of the restaurant, certainly not, no...but the fact that it cost $11 was.

I am not one to bitch about prices. There are times when I will be disinclined to visit certain establishments because of one too many pricey bar tabs piled up that month (I love being a beer snob but gone are the days of $2.00 22-oz. drafts), but I would certainly never complain about prices as much as probably remark when things are LESS expensive than I expected (but the whole fine dining concept has changed drastically in this Free Bailout Market we now live in and people are now looking more towards upscale casual, which ultimately has the exact same price points as the fine dining concepts from which it was born but it's just packaged differently so people perceive it as being less expensive, but that is a whole different rant entirely and it just ends with me swearing a lot so I'll spare you this time around).

A couple of years ago I wrote a rant about this whole thing which you can read here; I would write it differently now -- first I wouldn't make jokes about Obama-head-shaped burgers because that was immediately pre-election in the height of Obamamania but the fervor and my irritation at it has since died; second I would make it a point that sometimes it IS necessary to talk about price as a foodie-slash-food writer but only in the context of value; third I probably wouldn't use quite so many variations of the word "orgasm" because really, I'm more clever than that. And I would probably be a little less high-and-mighty about the whole thing because I used to think I was a lot more funny and important than I do now, or at least I thought it was a whole lot more funny to act that way. But the "dough-faced boorish troll of a woman" part would definitely stay. Regardless, the overarching point would be the same.

That being said I am now going to bitch about prices.

That toast you see about? Cherry walnut toast served with blueberry butter and a fruit compote (I forget what kind of fruit it was, my bad; I should really start writing shit down). $3.25. For some goddamn TOAST. I could buy the whole goddamn loaf for that much and still have enough leftover for the Sunday edition of the Free Press. I could've gone to goddamn Leo's Coney Island and got the $2.99 breakfast special which comes with eggs, choice of meat, hash browns AND toast and STILL had enough leftover for a pack of gum. Was the toast good? Sure it was good, but it was also $3.25 and did not come with a happy ending so really, how good could it have been? The next time some toast costs me that much money it better be lighting my cigarette and promising to call me afterwards.

I walked out of there having paid $21 for a glorified omelette and some goddamn toast. Oh, and coffee. Not fancy coffee. Straight 'Merican brew. $21 and no booze or beejers; frankly, "cute" only carries so much weight in my book. I'd rather have a killer gutbomb breakfast in a miserably podunk dive than be overcharged for some fluffy eggs and TOAST. (PS, my friend's orange juice was probably a 5-oz. glass and put her back $5. In real-life terms, that's a pint of Founders.) Given the right situation in the right surroundings with the right kind of ingredients I may have been able to justify the expense because I would have seen the value in it (for example, shave some truffles all over that bad boy and I would have been willing to skip eating for the rest of the week). This lacked the value to justify the expense, and I left feeling weighted down, unsatisfied, and unfortunately sober. Not unlike most first dates really, but that's another story entirely.

B. Nektar Mead Dinner at Cuisine (3D Tours)

Thursday, August 19, 6:00-9:00PM at Cuisine
670 Lothrop, Detroit 48202

What is mead, you ask? Not only is it what knights drink, it's also a fast-growing trend in these parts thanks to Ferndale's B. Nektar Meadery. Join Discover Detroit Dining as we partner with B. Nektar Meadery and one of Detroit’s finest restaurants to bring you a mead dinner in which you’ll sample and learn about a variety of different meads. Enjoy a 4-course menu prepared expressly for proper mead pairing by Chef Paul Grosz at Cuisine and learn all there is to know about mead (I'll start you off: it's made with honey).

Menu:
~Diver scallop ceviche with smoked salmon / Wildflower Mead
~Roasted Halibut with oven dried tomatoes and citrus glaze / Orange Blossom Mead
~Beef Shortrib braised in honey and Shiraz with gold mashed potatoes / Wildberry Pyment
~Blueberry tart with vanilla crème brulee ice cream / Vanilla Cinnamon

Tickets to this dinner are on sale now at www.discoverdetroitdining.com/upcomingtours and are $65.00 including all tax and gratuity.


About B. Nektar Meadery:
B. Nektar Meadery began as a home-based beer and mead operation between good friends Brad Dahlhofer and Paul Zimmerman. Theirs is a story of true entrepreneurship in the face of defeat: Brad and his wife Kerri had both been laid off from their jobs, inspiring them to open their own business selling the meads that had been winning awards at home-brewing competitions and wowing their friends. The Meadery officially opened its Ferndale location on August 2, 2008 and has since been highlighted in a number of different noteworthy publications and is carried in wine shops and restaurants all over the Midwest. But the question on everyone’s lips is, “What IS mead?” This is your chance to find out!

About Cuisine:
Chef Paul Grosz trained at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris under some of the top French chefs in the world. He served as the Executive Chef at the Whitney for 10 years before opening Cuisine in 2001. Through his use of fresh, clean flavors focusing on simplicity, he creates dishes that are bold and daring – true culinary art.

About Discover Detroit Dining:
3D Tours exposes metro Detroiters to different restaurants and establishments that might interest the curious epicurean. We offer themed packages that explore a variety of destinations as well as unique tastings, theme dinners, and signature events.

[Edible WOW] Russell Street Deli

Reprint from the Spring 2010 issue of Edible WOW Magazine.

Detroit’s Eastern Market, the largest historic public market district in the United States, is a place bustling with activity most Saturdays—but nowhere will you find more liveliness on any other day of the week than at Russell Street Deli. Located on Russell St. in the heart of Eastern Market, the deli is known to regularly have long lines out the door during peak hours (and people are certainly willing to wait). Russell Street Deli has become a destination for metro Detroiters seeking fresh, home-cooked, hearty food in a community-minded atmosphere, and is perhaps just as popular for its atmosphere as for its food.

“We don’t have an environment like this anywhere else in Detroit,” explains Ben Hall, co-owner of Russell Street Deli. “There are no railroad restaurants anywhere else in the city…some people are really engaged in that.”

Hall is referring to the communal-style seating arrangement of the deli—long tables that seat six are utilized to their capacity, which means multiple groups of dining partners will sit together and share their meal. Those who are uncomfortable sitting in such close quarters with others will simply leave, even after waiting 45 minutes in line; others come back 3-5 times per week for the experience. “It’s kind of the ‘vibe’ of the place,” Hall says, by means of explaining the deli’s overwhelming popularity.

Well, that, and the food. Regardless of the surroundings, Russell Street Deli offers up a full menu of made-from-scratch items which make for a dining experience that far surpasses your average family diner. It’s not that what they offer on their menu is so drastically different from other places; it’s just that much better. “Probably 97 out of 100 restaurants in Detroit serve clam chowder out of a box,” says Jason Murphy, who owns Russell Street Deli along with Hall. “Ours starts with an empty pot with vegetables in it. That difference really shows through.”

Hall and Murphy consider the Deli to be a “from-scratch house.” Hall notes, “We make our own stocks. We process and cook all the meats here. We grind, pack, and smoke our own sausage.”

Real Detroit Weekly: The Beach Grill

"One if by Land,

'Two if by Sea ...

'No matter how you get there, it's always a party! (How's that for poetry?)

'This 19,000-square-foot 'restaurant and resort' is home to one of the most popular party scenes in the summertime. Every Friday, you can check out the Mega 80's obliterating the dance floor with '80s pop, rock and metal covers in the Aqua Bar. Saturdays bring you DJ Mike Anthony and DJ Matt A with the sexy summer party series called 'Disco Beach.' Most recently, Playboy Playmate (and the world's sexiest DJ), Miss Colleen Shannon, spun for an A-list crowd at their 'Midsummer Night's Dream' ('wet dream' would be more like it).

'The place is expansive — soaring windows and ceilings drenched with light and color create a swanky resort feel, while the 5,000-square-foot patio (complete with a tiki bar) offers a lively outdoor experience in the heart of the Nautical Mile directly over Lake St. Clair. The Aqua Bar is a destination all its own, with a state-of-the-art light and sound system and 30-foot video projection, as well as a dance floor bigger than most people's apartments.

'Let's see ... indoor/outdoor destination for the land-dwellers and water-logged alike; ultra-trendy nightclub and lounge that attracts world-class DJs and celebrities; award-winning restaurant serving a variety of fresh seafood and tropically-minded dishes. This place is basically a paradise-themed playground for adults — a Caribbean-concept Vegas resort as imagined by Michiganders, where it's Spring Break all summer long!..."

Read the rest of the article here.

Beerfest in Pictures

I had the intention of photographing Beerfest (Note: it's not actually called "Beerfest," but has some other more civilized and proper name. I thumb my nose at civilized and proper.) and posting a nice photoblog of participating vendors and general merry-making, knowing full well that this is the kind of event in which my communication abilities would be reduced to short, declarative statements such as "I'm drunk," "I'm hungry," "I wanna go," and "I think I'm gonna puke.". This is what I ended up with.


Nothing like buying your wicker chickens and moon pies all in one place. Also, a great place to practice foot-shuffling.

A solid basecoat.

Look, it's Paulie!!!

My two favorite words: Media Pass.

Blessed be thine name.

Whole lotta white people running through mud, drinking beer, wearing sweat bibs.

PS, I coined a new term for "wifebeater": sweat bib. Go forth and procreate.

This guy actually walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "You know what I want? I want a tattoo of a big fucking Guinness logo. And I want it right above my ASS." And so it was.

Sitting on the dock by the river, smoking ciggies, drinking beer. A near-perfect day.

What surprised me the most was the number of people wearing galoshes. Who knew so many people owned galoshes? Must be a white person thing.

Mud.

Our thoughts on mud.

Oh the things one can achieve with a BAC of .14

Mine too, bro. Mine too.

Beerfest: The Deevolution.

And we devolve even further.

I'm not even sure what I was trying to do here.

We've all been there, pal.

Thanks to Dianna Higgs Stampfler for all the love...I hope you can enjoy the rest of your summer!