[HOT LIST] FOOD! DETROIT! THE BEST YEAR EVER! (2013 Edition)

Whole Foods Midtown. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

Wow, 2013. This was quite the year as far as years go, amiright? While last year's "BEST YEAR EVER" recap was relatively easy to put together - everything that happened rather thoughtfully happened in easily-identifiable themes - this year was kind of schizoid. The echo chamber got even more echoey. There was more news with more people covering it, making it even more difficult to keep track of everything as it all started to sound like so much white noise.

In the end though, trends that have been developing for years now continued to grow and evolve. New places opened and old places closed, while others still rebranded. Some things got everyone talking, though what they said often came across as hive mind shoutiness. While some people will debate what the best new restaurants were, to me the interesting question to ask is, what were the biggest things that happened in food this year? Here's my answer.

#1 Whole Foods opened.
Fucking deal with it. This was huge. This was huge for so many reasons. And this validated the "Detroit Renaissance" narrative in so many ways. This of course didn't stop people from whining about it and whining about how people were praising it and whining about people who were whining about praising it because that's just what you people do, but the fact that a grocery store opening incited so much "dialogue" and took over the Internet for interminable weeks (…months, YEARS) is all the proof I need that this was hands-down the biggest story of the year.

#2 Eastern Market got one bajillion dollars for its much-touted Shed 5 renovation.
I'm pretty sure it's going to be a 5-star luxury all-inclusive resort now? Or something? So the Shed 5 renovation has been in the works for some years and there has been a steady stream of foundation money flowing in to fund this or that part of it. Suffice it to say, by the time it's done it is going to be A.MAHZ.ING. Among its many features will be a pimp-ass community commercial kitchen, a 200-seat patio, an 18-hole golf course*, I can't even keep track of it all.

#3 Eastern Market is just fucking awesome.
The end. I mean, just, the fucking end. I keep nutting over this because here's the thing you may or may not realize: for all the buzz that Midtown and Corktown get, Eastern Market is the one district in Detroit that has the potential to be Detroit's definitive tourism draw, a singularly unique experience that travelers cannot easily replicate elsewhere, a place that is entirely walkable with a host of options for dining, drinking, shopping, exploring. High profile/much-buzzed-about restaurants, local artisan shops, local food vendors, scores of hand-made and ethnic items from soaps to spices, art galleries and artists studios (dozens! or at least a single dozen which is still a lot!), makerspaces, old-timey letterpress studios (TWO of them!), easy access to the Dequindre Cut greenway which will be further expanding and connecting to other city greenways, and and and SHED 5!!!! and so much more. Midtown is great, the DIA is pretty, it is completely feasible to walk from, say, Rodin to the Bronx in the middle of the night in the middle of winter (/sarcasm), Corktown is nice with its 12 bars along a mile-long stretch of Michigan Avenue and all the barren lots in between, yepyepyep all great. But Eastern Market is where its at. Next year Detroit City Distillery, Dave Mancini's Supino extension, and the restaurant currently known as Frontera all open, which will just further underscore this point.

The Stand. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

#4 A bunch of new places opened.
Here is a not-all-all-comprehensive but still meatier than most list of new places that opened in 2013 smattered all throughout greater metro Detroit. If I didn't include something, it is for no particular reason other than it didn't pop into my head. I'm not saying these are the "best" of 2013 because I just don't think that kind of designation is relevant in this market, for reasons.

51 North - a brewery/meadery/winery in Lake Orion
Aventura - a massive wine bar/tapas restaurant/lounge complex in A2 owned by the proprietor of Sava
Bagger Dave's - the one in Greektown, listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
Beignets - food truck based in Hamtramck
Bigalora Ann Arbor - the third location of the casual Italian restaurant and pizzeria formerly known as Pizzeria Biga
Bistro Joe's - a fancy restaurant in the upper mezzanine of a grocery store in Birmingham, which works better than you might think
Brizola - fancy restaurant inside Greektown Casino
Buffalo Wild Wings - the one in Greektown, listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
Cafe ML - Bill Roberts' latest in a Bloomfield
Carnaval Mexican - a casual take-out Mexican place, listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
CAYA Smokehouse - upscale BBQ in Wolverine Lake
The Cheesecake Factory - listed only because it was apparently such a big deal (a line around the BLOCK, people - and it's 12 Oaks Mall so it's a big damn block)
Chelsea Alehouse - brewery in Chelsea, where Michigan's first-ever (now defunct) microbrewery opened in the '80s
Craft Work - newly opened in Detroit's West Village since I first put this post together, this is the latest from Hugh Yaro, co-owner of Ronin and Commonwealth
Detroit Institute of Bagels - Detroit's only bagel shop
Detroit Vegan Soul - Detroit's only vegan restaurant
Falling Down Beer Co. - brewpub in Warren known for elevated gastropub fare
Fenton Fire Hall - a historic renovation project in downtown Fenton from the folks that brought you Vinsetta Garage and Union Woodshop
Firebird Tavern - beautifully renovated space in Greektown from the owners of Pulse known for a craft beer and solid bar food
Grace of India - one of Detroit's only Indian places, a casual take-out place listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
Great Lakes Culinary Center - not really a restaurant but a big, beautiful events space, rentable commercial kitchen, and demonstration center in Southfield
Griffin Claw - new brewery and distillery in Birmingham from the folks at Big Rock
The Grindhouse - Corridor Sausage Co's food truck
Huerto - upscale Mexican in a Bloomfield
Isalita - upscale Mexican in A2
Jefferson House - ambitious contemporary American menu inside the Crowne Plaza Detroit
La Feria - Spanish tapas in design-forward space in Midtown
La Palma - a fast and casual Lebanese take-out and dine-in place in Midtown listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
Luxe - second location in a Pointe
Macabee's - generic American menu, listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
Marais - upscale French cuisine in a Pointe
Market North End - I'm actually not even sure. Birmingham I think?
Meeting House - contemporary American in Rochester
Melt - gelato, coffee and candy in Midtown, listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
MEX - upscale Mexican in a Bloomfield
Midtown Grille - generic American menu, listed here because it's in Detroit and everything in Detroit is relevant
Monk Beer Bar - the Belgianier little brother of Belgish Bastone in downtown Royal Oak, located in the space that was previously Cafe Habana
Moo Cluck Moo - burger and milkshake joint that made headlines for un-fast-food ingredients and paying employees $15/hour in Dearborn Heights; second location also opened in Canton
Old German - in the basement of the Grizz in A2
Ottava Via - contemporary Italian restaurant and pizzeria in Corktown from the Mercury Burger Bar people
Patagonia Parilladas - an Argentine steakhouse in Southwest
Public House - sliders, milkshakes, fried foods and cocktails in Ferndale from the people behind Imperial
Red Crown - historic renovation, craft cocktails, house-smoked BBQ and upscale Southern food in a Pointe
Republica - a surprisingly fun little spot in Berkley with emphasis on Michigan craft beer
(revolver) - a pop-up that stays popped up in Hamtramck
Rock City Eatery - Eastern European meets American cuisine with contemporary spin in a rocked-out space in Hamtramck
Schramm's Mead - a lovely tasting room with excellent small plates in Ferndale
SkyBar and Lounge - the menu and drink list fail to impress, but the 33rd-floor view of downtown Detroit does not
Smoke Street - BBQ in downtown Milford in the old Five Lakes Grill/Cinco Lagos space
The Stand - Chef Paul Grosz's latest in Birmingham (and it's phenomenal)
Trattoria Pizzeria Da Luigi - possibly just called "Da Luigi" now, this is Italian food and wood-fired pizza in downtown Royal Oak from the former owner of Sangria
Thomas Magee's Sporting House and Whiskey Bar - handsome new bar in EASTERN MARKET
Two James Spirits  - gorgeous tasting room in Corktown
Vellum - a (not sure what to say here) restaurant in Ann Arbor

#5 EVERYONE came here, again.
Only this time the locals weren't quite so tickled with it. (It was only a matter of time.) Eddie Huang set a new bar of Detroit-backlash-baiting by first Saying All the Right Things then pissing on a lamp post in the middle of a street. And then there was that whole Bourdain thing.

#6 More shit to open next year.
OHMYGOD IT'S LIKE IT JUST WON'T STOP!!!!!! On deck for next year: Dave Mancini's new place next to Supino, Andy Hollyday's new place in Midtown called Selden Street, Top of the Pontch inside the Crowne Plaza, two new Bucharest Grills (one is a production spot), a second Russell Street Deli (it's called something else, idk), Detroit City Distillery in Eastern Market, the restaurant currently known as Frontera (it will be called something else by the time it opens), a permanent space for Guns + Butter (but oh, will the magic still be there if it's no longer limited and exclusive?), Craft Work in West Village (kind of sort of open already but not really?), another new spot in Ferndale from the folks at Imperial, that BBQ place on 9 Mile that's supposed to be opening in the old AJ's space, Whiskey Disco and something else new at the old Oslo, Kuhnhenn's second location and major production space, Atwater Brewery's new brewpub in a Pointe as well as their MASSIVE NEW PRODUCTION SPACE IN CORKTOWN ACROSS FROM MUDGIE'S which they've been very cagey about announcing and still no one from the Atwater camp has gone on the record about it, Maurice Williams' new spots The Addison and Restaurant 55, Atlas Global Bistro maybe possibly reopening downtown, Alley Wine in Midtown, that douchey-sounding new place in Royal Oak replacing Sangria (but the chef is awesome!), Michael Symon's B Spot Burgers (several locations in the works), Batch Brewing in Corktown, Rubbed in Corktown, Gold Cash Gold in Corktown (not only is this actually still happening, but I'm told they also have a chef), a Chez Chloe food truck, those two restaurants on the ground floor of the Broderick ("Still happening," I'm told), those two restaurants inside the GAR building ("Still happening," is rumored), Cafe con Leche's second location in New Center, and I'm sure many more I missed.

Cultural Living Room. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

#7 Re-boots continued to be hot. 
They were hot in 2011. Hotter still in 2012. And in 2013 they were…well, probably equally as hot as in 2012, but still pretty hot.

Bella Piatti - Bella Piatti in Birmingham got a new owner and a whole new old world Italian menu to go with it.
Bigalora - Pizzeria Biga had to re-name itself Bigalora in order to go forward with trademarking so they can continue opening more and more locations, but worry not, this didn't affect the restaurants at all (aside from some expected menu tweaking that comes with streamlining a new concept).
Cultural Living Room - The Kresge Court inside the DIA got a whole new look and concept, making it a great place to stop for lunch, for meetings, for reading, or whatever.
Craft - Cinq became Commune and Commune became Craft, but it's still in the basement of Bastone, now with a retro '70s look.
Lock + Key - the PDR at Oxford Inn got a new look and concept thanks to a TV show that does such things.
Forest Grill - Forest Grill is going after the "casual dining" dollars by ditching the white tablecloths and introducing a burger menu.
Red Crown - Red Crown in Grosse Pointe Park is now under new ownership and management, making it effectively a new restaurant.
Rodin - Rodin recently lost their opening chef and is undergoing a slight change in concept; the new menu is thematically similar but with all new items less geared towards sit-down fine dining and more geared towards chilling at the bar.
Tallulah - Tallulah in Birmingham is now under new ownership and management, making it effectively a new restaurant. For those of you keeping score, yes, it would appear former proprietor of Bella Piatti, Red Crown, and Tallulah Mindy Lopus has entirely left the restaurant biz, but not the food and beverage biz - her next project is Detroit Wine School.
Torino - Looks like Torino's ongoing identity crisis finally paid off with a new chef and a very buzzy tasting menu that changes weekly.
Treat Dreams - Treat Dreams in Ferndale significantly expanded their space this year, and have also expanded their offerings to include coffee and donuts in the morning - and their Wicked Donuts are already being met with rave reviews.

PS, will Opus One ever reopen? I do not know but it has now been closed for over a year now.

#8 Pop-ups popped harder.
Last year I said pop-ups would eat themselves. They didn't. Instead, they popped harder.
Guns + Butter emerged as the real star, getting featured on That Bourdain Show and then going international with events in L.A., Singapore and Dubai. A brick and mortar location is in the works for 2014. (revolver) is basically a permanent restaurant pop-up, featuring new chefs every weekend with pre-sold prix fixe dinners with two seating times nightly. MotorCity Wine and St. Cece's Pub embraced the pop-up mania and started hosting popular weekly events featuring different guest "pop-ups," in effect acting as restaurant incubators. And unlikely spaces like Shinola and Salt + Cedar hosted pop-up dinners, as well as random arts spaces and not-yet-open restaurants. More economic growth corp-organized pop-ups in Jefferson Chalmers and the Avenue of Fashion demonstrated the model's potential for long-term economic development in targeted neighborhoods. We also saw a few pop-ups go permanent, including Always Brewing Detroit and Coffee and (_____) (though Coffee and (_____) will temporarily close Jan. 6 until sometime this spring as they secure their Certificate of Occupancy to go full-fledged permanent).

La Feria. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

#9 Hatch alum rocked this year.
Rock City Eatery, Detroit Institute of Bagels, Detroit Vegan Soul, La Feria, and Anthology Coffee all opened permanent locations this year. Next year we should see HenriettaHaus Coffee Roasters and Batch Brewing open in their permanent homes. Which just goes to show, everyone "wins" in this competition, even if it's not the $50,000 grand prize.

#10 Caffeine fiends won the most. 
Good or at least serviceable, there are more places to get a decent cup of coffee now than ever before in Detroit. There's Anthology Coffee and Detroit Institute of Bagels in Corktown, Always Brewing Detroit in Grandmont Rosedale, Coffee and (____) in Jefferson Chalmers, the Roasting Plant and Urban Bean Company downtown, the completely renovated Stella Good Coffee in New Center, multiple new Great Lakes Coffee outlets throughout metro Detroit (including, most recently, Ford Field), plus a second retail location for Avalon still in theory happening (next year?). Also, tea started to strike your fancy, with local tea companies Joseph Wesley and Eli Tea Company available at some of these independent cafes and generally gaining "steam." (lol)

Rock City Eatery. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

#11 Good food, good design.
For the third year in a row, your eyeballs didn't have to suffer for the sake of your tastebuds. Restaurateurs continued to show a strong cognizance of the importance of aesthetics, with thoughtfully-designed spaces that continued to emphasize reclaimed materials and flourishes from local artisans. Check out Fenton Fire Hall, La Feria, MEX, Ottava Via, Public House, Red Crown, Rock City Eatery, The Stand, Stella Good Coffee, Two James Spirits, and Urban Bean Co. Even pop-ups showed a high-minded level of design, working in collaboration with the AIA Detroit on beautiful, if temporary, spaces.

Two James Distillery. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

#12 Booze. Always booze. 
This was a BIG year for booze news. Craft beer continued its soaring growth and in metro Detroit we saw plenty of new places open, including Griffin Claw, Falling Down, and 51 North, with Batch Brewing, a second location for Kuhnhenn, and second and third locations for Atwater in the works for 2014. Artisan spirits made a flying leap into popular consciousness as increasingly more breweries started distilling, established distillers like Valentine and New Holland increased their product lines with nationally-recognized products, and the first licensed distillery in the city of Detroit since Prohibition - Two James - opened. Next year Griffin Claw will be in full-bore distilling mode with a separate cocktail bar attached to the brewery, and Detroit City Distillery will open in Eastern Market.

Craft ciders also grew, though they haven't quite yet popped in the mainstream the same way beer and spirits have. Many area cider mills are now making their own hard ciders, and Virtue Cider's Sidra de Nava is bringing national attention to Michigan's craft cider scene.

Use of cans continues to grow as a popular packaging method, and next year even giants like Bell's and Founders are jumping on. Griffin Claw, Right Brain, and Rochester Mills also released their products to the retail market this year, and they're only available in cans. Even Vander Mill ciders are distributed in cans. Because replacing bottling lines and creating packaging systems can be prohibitively expensive, a lot of this canning growth can be attributed to Michigan Mobile Canning, which has helped a lot of these products get to the retail market.

And then there was mead. I wrote a LOT about mead this year (the collected knowledge dump is here), and from all of this I can tell you one thing with certainty: meads are going to explode in coming years, and Michigan, specifically metro Detroit, more specifically Ferndale, will be at the heart of it. Merds from all over the world will flock here to visit the birthplace of B. Nektar and Schramm's. To briefly sum up, B. Nektar is now available in about half of the states in the country and has a brand-new brewing license to continue to expand their product offerings. Schramm's Mead is now open, making one of the top meads in the country from the guy who wrote the book on it. Once Kuhnhenn's production facility in Clinton Township is up and running they're going to be pumping out mead in crazy quantities. And you really might as well learn to be down with the meadness because it's not going away.

Also in news, Greenbush, Odd Side Ales, Right Brain, Rochester Mills, and Griffin Claw all started distributing this year. And new to the Michigan market was Oskar Blues, the Bruery, Green Flash, and Evil Twin.

Coors Light Sky Deck.

#13 And some other crap.
Grocery stores got fancier and will likely continue to do so. Rooftop patios became a thing - see the Coors Light Sky Deck and the stop/start of whatever it was called on the roof of the Music Hall. Urban beach bars also became a thing thanks to Danny Gillyberts and his Quirky Quicken Kaskading Kiddie Pool and Beach Bar. In general, patios just got better. Sports picked up the "local" mantle, with Comerica Park, Ford Field, the Joe Louis Arena, and the Palace all putting newfound emphasis on local foods and local craft beer (though Ford Field does it best). And while we certainly saw a bit of a slow-down in street food (our net gain of food trucks this year was, like, two), metro Detroiters spoke loud and clear that they want to keep the street in their street food when the ill-conceived Food Truck Cafe closed after just two months in business. (A sub shop is set to open in its place.)

*I'm kidding about that. Or am I????

[HOT LIST] Cider mills

Blake Orchards and Cider Mill. All photos by Nicole Rupersburg.

For Michiganders, "fall" means apple orchards and cider mills. We all have fond childhood memories of heading out for a day in the country to one of the old-fashioned cider mills where we would drive through the apple orchards and pick our own apples, get our faces covered in sticky caramel as we devour a huge caramel apple, drink cider straight from the gallon and eat warm fried doughnuts while sitting on a picnic table outside watching the brilliant leaves twirl through the air, then afterwards trolling through the pumpkin patches to find that perfect pumpkin to desecrate for Halloween. The urban cider mills are nice because they're convenient, but a cider mill experience is supposed to be a JOURNEY (sorry Franklin Cider Mill, but you just never quite cut it), a full day spent an hour's drive out into the country with the full-blown agricultural experience. If you can't smell horse poop and burning leaves, you're in the wrong spot. THIS is what autumn in Michigan is all about.

#1 Blake Orchards Cider Mill Armada
There are three Blake Farms locations, but this is the ONE. This is a full-blown farm operation with U-pick fruit all summer and fall (as well as cut-your-own Christmas trees in the winter), pumpkin patches, a huge cider mill serving hot and cold cider where you can even watch the cider being made, fresh fried doughnuts in three different flavors, an assortment of different caramel apples and blocks of homemade fudge in a rainbow of colors and flavors, a whole market full of produce and jams and other goodies, a Cafe, a petting zoo, one of those inflatable jumper-things for the kids and the grown-ups who act like kids, nighttime hay rides and bonfires, and more we're probably missing. Having been raised on the original Blake's, a huge property full of childhood adventure and things to explore, every other cider mill since has been a disappointment. This is the real deal.

UPDATE: The 10,000-square-foot Blake's Cider House and Winery is now officially open for business! It is the first cider house and winery in Southeast Michigan and uses their own apples grown on the family farm. They hope to start distributing their hard ciders next year. Blake's Ciders are available in four flavors: original, gentleman's dry, semi-sweet, and autumn apple. The cider house will be open through the holidays.

#2 Spicer Orchards Fenton
We may have a sentimental attachment to Blake's, but Spicer comes in a close second. They also have U-pick fruit all summer and fall, fresh doughnuts and cider you can watch being made as well as other treats and sundries, a particularly beautiful property full of play areas and activities for the tots (like sand art and face painting), inflatables and train rides (in a REALLY cool train) on weekends, a farm animal barn, hot kettlecorn, pig roasts, pumpkin picking, bonfire parties, a corn maze, and if ALL that wasn't enough, they also have a winery. And YOU were gonna go to Franklin. HA! Pfff.

#3 Hy's Cider Mill Romeo
It's a small operation but you can still pick your own apples, and those metro Detroiters most in the know agree that Hy's has the BEST cider, and that's reason enough to visit. The store is also particularly cute and quaint in that country kind of way.

Pumpkin patch at Blake's.

#4 Diehl's Orchard and Cider Mill Holly
Diehl's is yet another adventure destination orchard and cider mill. Take a private tour of the facility during the week, enjoy dinner and an evening hayride followed by a campfire, or take a daytime hayride through the orchard and pumpkin patch (great for groups). There are tons of weekend activities for the kids (hay piles and pony rides; you can even see their turkeys in the birdhouse), and don't miss their annual Ciderfest every year to kick off cider season with a Fun Run and craft show.

#5 Yates Cider Mill Rochester Hills
Yates isn't quite out in the far-flung country, but it's also not a quick stop en route from West Bloomfield to Somerset Mall, either (poor Franklin keeps getting picked on). They have a cider mill, a fudge shop and an ice cream store; there are no orchards to wander or fruit to pick, but there is a cute little river walk with a swinging bridge and there are also pony rides and a petting zoo for the kids. If you have the cider mill itch but can't quite spare a full day to spend out in the country, Yates will scratch 'ya just fine.

UPDATE: Yates celebrates their 150th birthday this year.

UPDATE: Honorable Mention - Paint Creek Cider Mill Oakland Township
Previously not included on this list because they were not in fact really a mill, Paint Creek has since expanded their operations to be open year-round with an expanded food menu including weekend barbecues, and now also produce their own craft sodas AND started pressing their own cider for the first time ever this year.

UPDATE: Honorable Mention - Miller's Big Red Orchards Washington Township
In addition to selling fresh baked goods made from scratch daily in their expanded bakery and fresh cider made from their own apples, Miller's also offers U-pick apple and pumpkin picking, a petting zoo, and a corn maze. Miller's is also getting licensed to open a brewery and winery next year and will even produce spirits. Their farm store sells a variety of organic produce and produce from area farms year-round.

Bubbling under Franklin Cider Mill (Franklin), Westview Orchards and Adventure Farm (Washington), Plymouth Orchards and Cider Mill (Plymouth), Parmenter's Northville Cider Mill (Northville), Dexter Cider Mill (Dexter)

This post originally ran on October 18, 2011. It was updated on October 11, 2013.

Want to see more? Check out the Flickr set here.

[HOT LIST] Dream Cruise avoidance guide

Much like snow in the winter, every year at this exact same time the Dream Cruise happens and every year everyone who isn't an eager cruiser seems equally surprised and annoyed by its existence.

Look, if you live in downtown Royal Oak/Ferndale/Birmingham, it sucks. I get it. And if you live on one side of Woodward and need to get to the other, it sucks. I get it. But for everyone else, even those who live in the middle of it, there are ways for you to find relief. And that is by avoiding it. Entirely. Here's how: pick one side of Woodward and stay on it for the next three days. And here's where to go to do that.

#1 Visit the breweries of Warren
You know what isn't on Woodward? Warren. And for east- and west-siders alike, Warren is pretty easy to get to (696 runs right through it). Spend the weekend on a makeshift local brewery tour of Kuhnhenn Brewing Company, Dragonmead, and Falling Down Beer Company. Try the award-winning beers and meads at Kuhnhenn and Dragonmead (Falling Down is still too new to have those kinds of distinctions), and get some good eats from Detroit BBQ Co. at Kuhnhenn and at Falling Down, where there's a serious chef running the show in the kitchen. And Mo Pop is happening in Sterling Heights which isn't too far from there, and there will be food trucks. I know how much everyone loves food trucks.

The patio at Palate. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

#2 Go west - really far west
You know what else isn't on Woodward? Milford. Milford is very, very much not on Woodward. In fact, the whole western Oakland County lakes area is pretty far removed from Woodward. Been meaning to check out the Root in White Lake for dinner? This would be a great weekend to head out that way. Another cool spot to check out is Palate in downtown Milford, with a great beer list and fantastic patio. You can even make a whole day of it by starting with hiking, biking, fishing or kayaking at Kensington Metro Park - there's also a nature center and splash park for the kids.

#3 Really far west
And by that I mean Ann Arbor, which sometimes seems so far it might as well be Chicago. Really it's only 45 minutes and I just like to complain. There's plenty to do and see and eat and drink in the old Ace Deuce - there's the Hudson Mills Metropark and the Dexter-Huron Metropark, both of which offer plenty of opportunities for outdoor recreation including hiking, biking, kayaking/canoeing, fishing, BBQing, and more. Right in downtown Ann Arbor there's the Nichols Arboretum, with more hiking and biking trails. There's the University of Michigan Museum of Art, which is a small but great museum on the U-M campus which is pretty much across the street from Ashley's, one of the top beer bars in the country and a place I recommend heartily for both beer and pizza. Plus the kids are not quite yet back in school which makes doing anything in downtown Ann Arbor during the summer about 100 times better. (Less people = better.) And also Jolly Pumpkin.

#4 Or go north
Take I-75 straight up to hit Clubhouse BFD in Rochester Hills, another one of the best beer bars in the country, Rochester Mills Brewery in downtown Rochester, and the recently-opened 51 North Brewery in Lake Orion. Basically what I'm saying through all of this is go drink beer somewhere not near Woodward.

Houndstooth Craft Hot Dog Co. at Downtown Detroit Days.

#5 Or south
Because the Dream Cruise does not actually happen in Detroit, the entire city of Detroit is safe. Mostly. The Tigers are home so there's that to contend with. And I won't have been the only person to make that realization that the Dream Cruise doesn't happen in Detroit. But Downtown Detroit Days is this weekend, a Dan Gilbert Joint with Tashmoo Biergarten and Alley Wine pop-ups because pop-ups, and also Guns + Butter is happening this weekend in Eastern Market because pop-ups.





Also there's the first-ever Zombie Con in Troy. 

[HOT LIST] Mead Day

Mead Day is this Saturday, August 3. Metro Detroit is pretty much the best place in the country to be right now if you're a mead fan. But let's back this up a bit for newbies: mead is an alcoholic beverage made from fermented honey, which is ultimately what differentiates it from wine, cider, beer, and other spirits. It is believed that mead is the world's oldest alcoholic beverage, dating back to around 2000 B.C. The father of modern anthropology, Claude Levi-Strauss, stated that the invention of mead marked the passage "from nature to culture" for modern man.

Mead carries with it this imagery of Vikings and Knights and dudes who play Dungeons and Dragons. None of that is patently untrue, but in contemporary culture mead is on track to become the country's next "IT" artisan alcoholic beverage of choice. But don't take my word for it; take Imbibe's. Craft beer is booming, artisan spirits aren't far behind it in terms of the rate of industry growth and increasing number of artisan distilleries and consumer popularity, craft ciders are taking off in apple-growing regions (including, hi, Michigan), and wine...well, wine has had its day and eventually will again.* But mead? Mead as a commercial artisan beverage is still in its infancy but if the growth of Ferndale's own B. Nektar Meadery is any indication (now in almost 20 states, including California), it's primed to EXPLODE over the next 2-5 years. Much like the craft beer and artisan spirits before it.

So, it's made from honey. Is it sweet? To quote one industry friend of mine, "No, it tastes like burgers." Yes, it's sweet. It's made from honey. But much like craft beer, mead comes in a variety of forms and flavors, from lower-ABV (like, around 6% - still high-ish by beer standards) carbonated meads to bourbon-barrel-aged bombs, traditional meads that taste like luscious liquid honeys to its dozens of variations that include cysers (made with honey and apple juice), melomels (honey and fruit), braggots (honey and malt), and pyments (honey and juice from wine grapes).

In metro Detroit alone we have meadmakers B. Nektar in Ferndale, Kuhnhenn Brewing Company and Dragonmead in Warren, Superior Lakes in Harrison Township, and the soon-to-open Schramm's Mead in Ferndale - which is to say nothing of the many other meadmakers in Michigan. This Mead Day, celebrate with Michigan-made meads. And here is how.

#1 2013 Summer Mead Fest at B. Nektar Meadery in Ferndale
Their first Mead Fest started with probably 100 mead nerds (merds?) standing in the parking lot of the original B. Nektar Meadery production facility in Ferndale. Since then the event has grown and packs in hundreds - thousands? - of people over two different annual festivals, one held in the late summer and now a Spring Mead Fest (2013 was the first year), with live music, several food trucks, exclusive specialty meads on tap, and the eagerly-anticipated releases of rare and limited meads. Summer Mead Fest is always held on Mead Day, and this year's is also the company's five-year anniversary. They'll be debuting the new Black Fang, a carbonated blackberry clove mead, and the Zombies Take Manhattan, a rye whiskey cask-aged Imperial Zombie Killer (their most popular mead). The popular Cherry Chipotle is also making its return at Summer Mead Fest.

With mead names and label designs that nod to geeky cult movies (from Star Wars to Army of Darkness) and playful flavors that tend much more towards craft beer than wine (like Evil Genius, the hopped and carbonated IPA-style mead, currently out of production due to availability issues with one of the ingredients), B. Nektar has a distinct appeal to the local craft beer community. So it will come as happy news when I tell you that they are currently in the process of acquiring a brewing license, which is different than their current license, so they can do more collaborations with breweries and make beer-style meads/mead-style beers. The B. Nektar Brewery will come online as soon as the state approves their license.

#2 Kuhnhenn Brewing Company, Warren
Though not in distribution, Kuhnhenn Brewing Company's meads have their own cult following that even Imbibe noted. Every March they host "Mead Madness" with a slew of new limited specialty mead releases every week. They've also got several special Mead Day releases planned, including Sunflower Bourbon Barrel (Heaven Hill 3 year), Sunflower Bourbon Barrel (Heaven Hill 6 year), Sunflower Rye Whiskey Barrel (Heaven Hill with heavy char), and Saison Braggot (1/3 saison and 2/3 honey, fermented together, then spiced with ginger and coriander).

Happy news for Kuhnhenn fans: they have purchased an industrial building in Clinton Township at the corner of Groesbeck and Metro Parkway that will serve as a large-scale production facility and will also be home to a second, and much larger, tasting room. And THAT you heard here first.

#3 Dragonmead Microbrewery, Warren
I mean, it's right there in the name. This multi-time award-winning microbrewery is the most unabashed about its D+D roots with imagery that celebrates it rather than tries to downplay it. The three partners - Earl Scherbarth, Larry Channell and Bill Wrobel - started as homebrewers (and mead makers) who would throw wassail dinners (part of their own D+D backgrounds) but weren't able to find a quality mead to serve. So they started making their own. They ended up bringing their meads and beers out of the dungeon basement and into the mainstream, and are now also undergoing a major expansion that will allow them to significantly increase their brewing operations and distribution.

#4 Schramm's Mead, Ferndale
Okay, it's not actually open yet and you can't just GO there, but you should still be aware of it. Ken Schramm wrote the book on mead. No, but really, he wrote The Compleat Meadmaker, which is pretty much to mead what Brian Polcyn's Charcuterie was to meat. Though his new meadery and tasting room in Ferndale won't be open yet for Mead Day, he's getting close. An inspiration to meadmakers far and wide (including his new neighbors at B. Nektar, with whom he has made his own recipe Heart of Darkness, a highly sought-after limited release), he is also a co-founder of the Mazer Cup, the leading international mead competition. This guy is serious business (he even grows his own fruit for his meads, and by "grows," I more so mean "orchestrates") and I've heard the name "genius" tossed around quite a bit in reference to him. We're probably mere weeks away from his eponymous meadery opening; this is definitely one to watch for.

#5 Motor City Brew Tours Mead Day Tour
Want to check out all of the above meaderies including a sneak peek at Schramm's? Let Motor City Brew Tours bus you around to each of the above four destinations for $49.99 including a light lunch, mead samples at each stop, and transportation so you don't have to worry about driving. Your final stop is Summer Mead Fest at B. Nektar where you can choose to either sober up or go all out and call a friend or Uber to take you home.

Honorable mention: Superior Lakes in Harrison Township 
You don't know about this place yet because I haven't written about this place yet, but give me a few hours days.

*When it's wine's turn again the focus will be all about small-production family estate boutique wines from lesser-known growing regions. Napa? No-thankya. In fact, that's already happening, but outside of the wine world the drinking public seems to have lost interest in the industry for the time being. But, like anything, and everything, it's cyclical. 

[HOT LIST] Hot dogs

Atomic Dawg. Photo from their Facebook page. 

The hot dog has come a long way in metro Detroit since our first Hot Dog Hot List in the summer of '11. The gourmet hot dog trend got off to a halty start here with some places shutting down just as their buzz started building. But now the haute hot dog, yet another cheap food blue collar food made fashionable and now costs $9, has reached bonafide trend status. And that trend also happens to be wrapped in bacon (more often than not). While there are none on this list quite so patriotic as the most America-est hot dog in America, we can still hold out hope that Chef Andy Hollyday will recreate this Le Haute Duck when he opens his own place later this year.

In honor of National Hot Dog Month, here are the hottest dogs in metro Detroit.

The hot dog that should come with a waiver: Imperial's new Egg On Your Face late-night dog.

#1 Imperial Ferndale
In case you didn't know, Imperial is one of the best bars/restaurants/hang-outs in metro Detroit. So now you know. Now that we've got that cleared up, let's on to the hot dogs: they started with the simple Sonoran, a bacon-wrapped hot dog with stewed beans, tomato, onion, poblano lime cream, and salsa verde. That became so popular that they added MORE hot dogs to the menu. And the place became so popular that they also decided to add more menu; specifically, a brand-new weekend late-night menu, which includes items like the Egg On Your Face bacon-wrapped hot dog with queso fresco, jalapeno onion relish, chipotle aioli, carne asada, chorizo, and (AND) a fried egg. Yeah, that's one hot dog.

The 3 A.M. Dog at Vinsetta Garage.

#2 Vinsetta Garage Berkley
So I recently wrote this in Metromode: "The historic old garage reborn as a restaurant opened less than a year ago, and from day one has been filling its waiting list. The iconic building's history and the excellent adaptive reuse notwithstanding, people come here for one primary reason: the food. Classic American comfort food meets classic American car culture here, but in addition to the Union Joints' signature macaroni and cheese and the out-of-this-world disco fries (get the disco fries), the burgers are the real stars at Vinsetta." Okay so yeah, the burgers are the stars here but the tube steaks are no slouches. There's the Classic Detroit Coney with house-made chili, the Yeti Dog which is wrapped in bacon and deep-fried, and the 3 A.M. Dog, the hot dog version of the burger by the same name with house-made bacon jam, sriracha mayo, a sunny fried egg and crispy fried onions.

#3 Atomic Dawg Berkley
At this point I'm just repeating myself, so here again is what I wrote about Atomic Dawg for that same story in Metromode: "Though technically the Atomic Dawg is not owned by Corridor Sausage, it is 'owned' by Corridor Sausage in the pwned kind of way. As American chefs continue combing through the archives of the greatest hits of American junk food for the Next Big Thing in garbage gone gourmand, it seems that sights are set on the good old all-American hot dog. Atomic Dawg uses Corridor Sausage for their sausage selection (which includes a sausage of the week) serving what is, essentially, a really dressed up version of a meat tube." They also have a big selection of big "dawgs" that come with such toppings as pulled pork and grilled pineapple, plus they've got veggie dogs for those who like everything on the hot dog except for the hot dog itself.

#4 The Grindhouse Detroit
The Grindhouse is the recently-launched food truck owned by the folks at Corridor Sausage. Since Corridor will be mentioned on this list a total of three times, I would be remiss to not give it its own place on the list. Now, we could split hairs here - what defines a "hot dog" versus a sausage, and if we're including sausage here what about [all of these other sausage places]? Um. 'Cuz Corridor rulz. And Grindhouse has corn dogs! So. There. (Even Charley thinks so, and he's the mustard dude.)

#5 Ford Field Detroit
Not only is Ford Field stepping up their game this year with a new Corridor Sausage cart, but they've been serving Dearborn Sausage Co. hot dogs with Charley's Ballpark Mustard (the mustard dude!) for awhile now. And that, really, is all you need in a hot dog.

Recent hot dog specials at Falling Down Beer Co.

Honorable mention: Falling Down Beer Company (Warren)
These Dearborn Sausage Co. dogs were a recent special, but deserve their proper dues regardless (they will also most likely be making their way to a new late-night menu, so stay tuned). Word is out in the beerie community: Falling Down has some of the best bar food in town. Pictured: Southern Dog - homemade pimento cheese and crumbled bacon; Chipotle BBQ Dog - BBQ pulled pork and creamy chipotle slaw; Guacamole Dog - house made guacamole and cumin-salted corn tortilla strips; Horse Relish Dog - McClure's spicy pickle, red onion, horseradish and sauerkraut relish with stoneground Dijonaise.

Bubbling under Roast (Detroit), Biercamp (Ann Arbor), The Wurst Bar (Ypsilanti), Bucharest Grill (downtown), Rosie O'Grady's (multiple locations), Detroit Under Dog (Ferndale), Mercury Burger Bar (Corktown), Five Guys Burgers and Fries (various locations), Hippo's Hot Dogs (Troy, Clinton Twp.), Old Shillelagh (Greektown), Epic (Novi), The Henry Ford (Dearborn), Comerica Park (Detroit), Tortitas el Rojito (SW Detroit)

[HOT LIST] Michigan Craft Beer Month - Summer beers

It's July, which means it's summer (in theory), and also that it's Michigan Craft Beer Month. Now, if there's one thing all beeries can count on as reliably as death and taxes, it's that one (and usually several) of Michigan's top breweries are going to make it on to some somethingsomeonesomewhere's list of "best beers for MAKING A LIST WITH." Like this one, for example: summer's best beach beers! ZOMGZFOUNDERZZZZZ!!!!

Which is swell. Really. It is. Lists are great! But the feasibility of actually getting your hands on any Founders Rubaeus this summer is about as likely as winning a $300 million jackpot (though some hardcore beer trolls out there would probably find it equally as exciting).

And that is the fault of many of these ZOMGZBEERLISTZZZ out there: they usually only focus on the ultra-rare, ultra-limited releases that, hell, most of their readers don't even live in a state where the brand is distributed, much less stand a shot of getting their hands on any. And what's the fun in that? "Here is a list of awesome things you will never, ever try!" Ah, slideshow journalism as powered by Google.

Here is a list you can actually use. These Michigan beers are in wide release (some are high-production seasonals; others are year-round) and readily available for your drinking enjoyment. And since it's summer, and bourbon barrel-aged barleywines and the like just don't make any damn sense in the dead of summer, I'm sticking to summer-friendly beers as close to sessionability (defined as 4.0%ABV and lower) as local brewers seem willing to make.

#1 New Holland
There will come a day when New Holland is as popular as Founders and Short's and Bell's, and their specialty beers will be just as hard to come by. This will be both a happy and a sad day: happy for them, sad for me. But for now, we can still enjoy all the beers this stellar brewery puts out as if they were brewed just for us. Mainstays include Full Circle (an excellent kolsch, 4.9%ABV), Mad Hatter IPA (hoppy, 5.25%ABV), Sundog (amber, 6.0%ABV), and Monkey King (a superb saison, 6.6%ABV). Seasonals include the full Hatter series (the White Hatter, a Belgian-style white pale ale clocking in at 5.5%ABV, is probably the most popular), and the newly-relaunched Paleooza, a Michigan pale ale (5.6%ABV).

#2 Brewery Vivant
Brewery Vivant follows Belgian brewing traditions, which means there are certainly some heavy-hitters in their lineup. But their year-round releases are also some of the best drankin' beers around. Sold in four-packs of 16-oz. cans, they also make good travelers for summertime boating and camping and stuff-some-beer-in-your-backpack biking trips. Farm Hand is a French-style farmhouse ale and highly drinkable at 5.0%ABV, while Triomphe is a Belgian-style IPA - which means it isn't the hoppy cock-punch of your typical American IPA, but has a more gentle, pleasant hoppiness (reminds me of black teas). It's 6.5%ABV though, so not exactly poundable.

#3 Bell's Brewery
Say whatever you want about Bell's (they rule, they suck, Larry's a dick, whatever), their summer beer suite is second to none. And actually, their most summer-friendly beers happen to be the ones they make year-round. There's the Amber (a simple and tasty amber ale, 5.8%ABV), the Pale Ale (a classic, 5.2%ABV), Third Coast Beer (a hoppy ale with a modest 4.8%ABV), Lager of the Lakes (in the tradition of Bohemian-style pilsners, 5.0%ABV), Oarsman (a real-and-true sour-ish session beer made from sour mash and only 4.0%ABV), and the ubiquitous Oberon (their summer seasonal wheat ale, 5.8%ABV).

#4 MillKing It Productions
Remember when craft beer in a can was super-weird and everyone wondered if it would really work and if it was any good and if it was going to last? Well, MillKing It Productions was the first in the area to adopt aluminum, and now it's so much a THING that it's not even a thing anymore. While their product lineup has expanded quite a bit in the last three-ish years, their original lineup of AXL Pale Ale (5.2%ABV) and BRIK Irish Red (5.2%ABV) are still some of the best local go-to beers.

#5 Keweenaw Brewing Co
Is it any coincidence that three of the top five breweries on this list distribute in cans? Well...yes, it really is just a coincidence, but still one worth noting, if for no other reason that just to say, "Huh, that's funny. What a coincidence." ANYWAY. So Keweenaw's Widow Maker Black Ale (5.2%ABV) is a great chuggin' beer, as is their Pick Axe Blonde (4.7%). We don't see a lot of Yooper beers down here under the bridge, so these Keweenaw brews are a real treat. Nothing XTREME about them; just pop the tab and drink.

Bubbling under Jolly Pumpkin Calabaza Blanca (4.8%ABV) + Luciernaga (6.5%ABV), Atwater Grand Circus IPA (4.2%ABV), Founders All Day IPA (4.7%ABV), Arbor Brewing Co. Sacred Cow IPA (6.8%ABV) + Bollywood Blonde (6.0%ABV), Rochester Mills Cornerstone IPA (7.0%ABV), Greenbush Sunspot (6.0%ABV), Saugatuck Brewing ESB Amber (5.5%ABV) + Oval Beach Blonde Ale (5.0%ABV), Crankers Bulldog Red (5.1%ABV) + Torchlight (4.9%ABV)

[HOT LIST] Cocktails

Dave Kwiatkowski of the Sugar House. All photos by Nicole Rupersburg.

It goes without saying that the BEST best places in metro Detroit to get a craft cocktail are Roast, the Oakland, and the Sugar House (which was just named one of the best bars in America by Playboy). But as the trend has grown over the last couple of years - so much so that Michigan Radio recently took notice and ran a state-wide poll looking for Michigan's best craft cocktail bar, and Michigan State University has their own Artisan Distilling Program (the Master Distiller of Death's Door is a graduate of this program) - an ever-increasing number of bars and restaurants are getting with the craft cocktail program. And not in the half-assed way they did before (changing the name of their martini menu to "craft cocktails," yet keeping all the same candy-flavored vodka drinks) - this time it's in earnest. Top-shelf spirits (think bourbons, gins, and boutique liqueurs), fresh-squeezed juices, and house-made bitters and infusions separate the men from the martinis. What a difference two years make, eh? These are some of the best places to get some (aside from Roast, the Oakland, and the Sugar House, of course).

#1 Pizzeria Biga Royal Oak, Southfield, Ann Arbor (opening soon)
Pizza and craft cocktails? Absolutely, when the pizza in question is made by James Beard award-nominated chef Luciano del Signore (along with house-made charcuterie) and the cocktails by some of the best local bartenders in the business. Biga's beverage program in general is a thing of excellence, with proper dues given to its Italian inspiration in its selection of Italian beers, wines, and liqueurs. They also have a great selection of craft beers and have recently started hosting beer dinners. As for cocktails, they have a full selection of classic craft cocktails as well as some of their own creations.

Red Crown. 

#2 Red Crown Grosse Pointe Park
Turns out, Grosse Pointers are a bunch of booze-hounds. (This probably surprises no one who is familiar with Grosse Pointers and their lifestyles.) Mixologist Thomas Phillips, a self-described liquor nerd, leads the bar's cocktail program, which includes a mix of classic cocktails and his own creations, which he changes seasonally. The renovated historic gas station in Grosse Pointe Park opened earlier this year and was an instant hit with the community that has been woefully underserved in their demand for drink. This summer, enjoy their expansive, beautifully-landscaped patio with a cold cocktail and some smoked meat and Southern-style comfort food.

#3 The Last Word Ann Arbor
The Last Word takes its name from the classic cocktail of the same name, which is fitting for this Prohibition-era craft cocktail bar. This place is all about the booze, and be sure to shop in for Whiskey Wednesdays when they serve Scotch (SCOTCH SCOTCH SCOTCHY SCOTCH), bourbon and rye half-off. It's a classy joint in a college town, and their cocktails are on point.

#4 Bailout Productions Detroit
We all know that Roast is one of the best places to go for a craft cocktail, and that's because of the talent behind the bar. Bailout Productions has its roots in Roast, where founders Travis Fourmont (who now works at Great Lakes Wine and Spirits) and Joe Robinson (still holding down the happy hour fort) both worked. They now team up for pop-up bar events at places like Green Dot Stables and the currently-uninhabited Rhino Club in Harmonie Park, and bring their full cocktailing skills along with some friends – like chef Andy Hollyday, who recently left his post at Roast to work on opening his own restaurant in Midtown. They've got more events planned for this summer, so be sure to follow them on Facebook for updates on their upcoming pop-ups.

#5 Sardine Room Plymouth
The much-buzzed-about Sardine Room in Plymouth just celebrated its one-year anniversary earlier this month. Known for their selection of fresh seafood (oysters, the oysters, especially the oysters) and elevated small plates, the Sardine Room also has an excellent selection of craft beer and craft cocktails. What with all of the oysters and the hot sauce and the lobster rolls (basically a lobster po'boy) and the shrimp and grits, the Sardine Room has a vaguely New Orleansean vibe, so it seems only fitting to sip on a Sazerac (the drink that originated in the Big Easy over 150 years ago) while you're here.

Bubbling under Valentine Distillery (Ferndale), Gastronomy (Southfield), Zingerman's Roadhouse (Ann Arbor), St. Cece's Pub (Corktown), Vellum (Ann Arbor), Great Lakes Coffee (Midtown), Union Woodshop (Clarkston), the Raven's Club (Ann Arbor), Imperial (Ferndale), the Bar at 327 Braun Court (Ann Arbor), the Laundry (Fenton), the Root (White Lake), Torino (Ferndale), Lena (Ann Arbor)

[HOT LIST] Detroit's most metal meals

In honor of Metallica being in town this weekend (METALLICA RULZ), and the longhairs who have flocked into town to see them, we're taking a look at Detroit's most metal meals. What makes a meal metal? Well, first, meat. Meat is metal. MEATallica. Really anything that's hardcore is metal. So, like, anything super-spicey is metal (but only if it has a cool name). BBQ is metal, because it is meat, and because it is southern, and the south is super-metal. And anything else reminiscent of head-banging and hangovers and motorcycles and Black Tooth Grins and blood and sweat and METAL is fucking metal.

Straying from the usual top 5 format here because making your own rules (even on a website where you already make all the rules) is also fucking metal.

#1 Guns + Butter Feed 'Em All
Did you miss out on the pop-up at Ponyride? Fuck it, that crowd was totally not metal anyway. Guns + Butter (metal and metal) will be at Orion all weekend serving "Eggs + Bacon," not quite the same Eggs + Bacon Vol. 2 from the Ponyride pop-up you saw Instagramed a thousand times by everyone in Detroit last month for those of you who live in Detroit and follow all of its people on Instagram, but a mighty fine one just the same. This one is made with fried egg and bacon hollandaise. Not only is Guns + Butter the best thing about economics, but it is also one of the coolest (and therefore most metal) things happening in Detroit right now.

#2 Slows BAR BQ Corktown, Feed 'Em All
For two reasons. Actually three. The first: because co-owner Phil Cooley curated all the food for your face at Orion Music + More so he knows what's up. The second: because they have a dessert called the Chuck Norris, and it will kick you in the face. Third, and there's a reason I waited to put this one last -- the Triple Threat. Applewood bacon, pulled pork and ham make for a pork orgy, a porgy if you will, and and AND, it will be available at the Feed 'Em All food court at Orion on a stick. That's right. Take something awesome, then put it on a stick. This version has ham, confit bacon and smoked pork butt ... ON A STICK. Metal.

This very week's specials at Green Dot.

#3 Green Dot Stables Corktown
There's not much you can write on a menu that is more metal than calling something "mystery meat." Green Dot Stables is best known for their cheap gourmet sliders and their cheap craft beer, but one important thing to mention is their weekly mystery meat special ... which sometimes is pretty tame (sometimes it's not even meat at all), but other times is camel, or lamb's neck, or bull testicles. This week all you headbangers are in luck 'cuz the meat of the week is wild boar, and wild boar is fucking delicious, and also one of the most metal of the animals in the edible kingdom. Also metal is the $5 Buffalo Trace pours. That's more fancy metal, mind you - to be really metal it would have to be Jack, and only Jack - but is it un-metal to enjoy a good deal on a fine beverage? No it is not.

#4 Las Cazuelas Grill Southwest Detroit
First of all, eating gas station food is totally metal. Pick up some smokes and a torta to go while you gas up the hog? Metal. Las Cazuelas Grill, located inside a BP station, has a full menu of Mexican items including tacos, burritos, tortas and more. Plus, you know, there's a huge metal scene in Texas and in Mexico City, so the cuisine already lends itself well to the music (and vice versa). I mean, Robert Trujillo and Chino Moreno and both of Mexican descent. So, you know: metal.

Hillbilly bennie. From @eatitdetroit Instagram feed.

#5 Foran's Grand Trunk Pub Downtown
Because you need a good basecoat for all that face-melting metal later in your day, start with brunch at Foran's Grand Trunk Pub. I'll save you some time: order the Hillbilly Benedict. Sausage, poached egg and cheese on an English muffin smothered in homemade sausage gravy. Order that with some breakfast shots (taste like pancakes! made with whiskey!) to start you day off the metal way. Because breakfast shots are fucking metal.

#6 Union Street Saloon Midtown
"Saloon" sounds totally metal, but what's most metal about this place is a little something called rasta sauce. And it is HOT. Like HOLYUNHOLYPEPPER hot. Get it on straight-up wings, or order the Dragon Eggs: chicken breast stuffed with gorgonzola cheese, battered and tossed in rasta hot sauce. Dragons are totally metal.

#7 Paradillas Patagonia Southwest Detroit
Flank steak and not a whole lot of English, this place strays from the usual Mexican fare of Mexicantown in favor of Argentinean-style STEAK (and in South American-sized portions). Please enjoy your very metal mound of meat.

#8 Taqueria Mi Pueblo Southwest Detroit
For the more Mexican side of Southwest Detroit, hit up Mi Pueblo for all the offal you can eat. Beef is pretty metal to begin with, but beef head? SO METAL.

#9 Bucharest Grill Downtown
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the death by garlic shawarma at Bucharest Grill, one of Detroit's most famous sandwiches (if more on a local level than a national one). Their hot dogs are also mighty metal; try the 1920 Red Hot, a spicy old school hot dog served with grainy mustard.

#10 + 11 Lafayette + American Coney Island(s) Downtown
Why? Because you have to be fucking metal as hell to ingest this shit, especially at the ungodly hour most people go there.

[HOT LIST] Burgers

iBurger. All photos by Nicole Rupersburg.

May is National Burger Month. While summer for some means trying to squeeze their pasty white Midwestern blubber butt into last year's bikini only to find that winter has not been kind to them, some of us (hi) have made (an uneasy) peace with the fact that maybe bikini season stopped for us a few years back, and this summer isn't looking much better. There is a certain freedom in realizing you're not Kate Upton, and with that freedom comes the ability to go on the summer #burgercleanse. (Use that hashtag on Instagram plz; trying to make it a thing.)

Perhaps you'll recall when just last week I noted that Detroit is still very much a meat and potatoes town. That being established, you can go ahead and assume that we know our way around a beef patty.  Now, you know all the old familiars -- the ones that have been written up in national publications, the ones that people will Instagram with words like "yum" and people will comment with "want" and "I love that place!" I'm talking about places like Red Coat Tavern and Miller's. Then there's the burger elite -- which, to just go ahead and reference myself again, I already covered them last week -- Vinsetta Garage, Roast, and burger n00b Monk. Iron Chef Michael Symon is also looking to expand his B Spot Burgers into the metro Detroit market, probably because we are a bunch of fat asses. Bottom line? We know some damn burgers.

For the purposes of making this list manageable, chains and fine(r) dining restaurants that serve burgers have been excluded. This is all bar burgers, diners, and straight burger joints. I've also ruled out sliders (sorry Green Dot) because that is a separate list. Also, I am a burger purist: while I concede the notion that burgers can be all dressed up and fancified for the betterment of burger enjoyment, I prefer to experience my burgers in their natural state -- beef, cheese, bun. Nothing more. All assessments have been made based on purely the plain old burger. (With cheese. Because it HAS to have cheese.)

#1 East Side Tavern Mt. Clemens
There is an episode of How I Met Your Mother in which Marshall spends the entire episode on a quest to find the Manhattan burger that changed his life. A burger of such superior quality, that was so much more than JUST a burger but an experience, that it had become legen-waitforit... in Marshall's mind. A burger so transcendent that no other burger could ever live up to its impossibly high standard. A burger that is almost cultural mythos. The burger at East Side Tavern is that burger. But don't take my word for it. Take my word for it.

#2 The Bronx Bar Detroit
Take a giant burger the size of your head and throw it on a sizzling flat-top grill with all of its other burger friends in plain view of the bar (so close, in fact, it would not be unreasonable to assume that the burgers occasionally get seasoned with Jameson's). Then take a giant ciabatta bun, slather it in butter, and throw it on the grill too. For good measure, add a couple of slices of melty American cheese -- which, and I know I'm going to catch some flack for this, in my own very much experienced burger experience is THE superior cheese for burgers -- and a giant pickle on the side. And there you have the Bronx Bar burger. Simple. Magical. It's the burger you just can't quit.

The Emory. 

#3 The Emory Ferndale
The Emory's burgers are something of a local legend. It just goes to show that the secret to a great burger is all in the beef, and theirs comes from Eastern Market's Fairway Packing. (Note: For those who are not familiar with Fairway, their burgers are consistently the best in the business. Any restaurant that serves them is automatically among the top in town.) The big fluffy buns come from Royal Oak bakery Hermann's. And the best part? A burger and fries will cost you only $5 on Tuesdays, and the Emory also rocks a brutal beer list to go with your beef.

From @eatitdetroit Instagram feed.

#4 Good Burger Dearborn
Dearborn is not lacking for good burgers. People still love the shit out of Miller's. There's also Howell's, which some say has the better bar burger. Moo Cluck Moo just opened in Dearborn Heights and is looking to be a game-changer. But I have seen the future, and in this future gas station food is the new trendy pedestrian blue collar IT food that "foodies" will flock to. And it starts at Good Burger. Located inside a BP gas station on Ford Road just a few blocks off of I-94, Good Burger is perhaps the most efficiently-named restaurant in metro Detroit. Because you will leave saying, "Damn, that WAS a good burger." Everything is made fresh in-house -- condiments are made from scratch, fries and onion rings are hand-cut; grilled-to-order burgers are never frozen and served on either a pretzel roll or brioche bun sourced from local bakeries, and the meat itself is expertly seasoned. I told you my rule about eating burgers plain? With this one you won't even WANT to dilute the flavor with any other frippery. Burgers are served with perfectly-crispy (and made to order) seasoned shoestring fries, and they also deliver.

#5 iBurger Dearborn
It would seem that metro Detroit's REAL cheeseburger paradise is Dearborn. Dearborn is just great. I love Dearborn. Have I told you how much I love Dearborn? Such a cultural mish-mosh and I LOVE that. Black people, white people, Arab people, Mexican people -- if you want diversity, it's all in Dearborn, and it's actually properly integrated instead of the street-by-street segregation you find in other "diverse" cities. Now, with a large population of ethnic Arab Muslims, this also means that you'll find a lot of halal restaurants. They're not all Mediterranean, either. You'll find halal Mexican, halal Italian, halal fried chicken, halal pizza, halal sushi. America! Bless you melting pot, and bless you fatass Midwestern eating habits and cultural assimilation. iBurger is a halal burger joint, and, you know, maybe it's because Muslims don't eat pork and can therefore put ALL of their energy into the beef (even the bacon is beef) instead of being distracted by the temptations of pig parts, but damn this is a tasty burger. Read more about it here. They also serve raw juices and ice cream. Raw juices at a burger joint (and they're not talking about the burgers, though those are plenty juicy too). Don't you just freaking LOVE that?

Bubbling under The Detroiter Bar (Detroit), One-Eyed Betty's (Ferndale), Red Hawk (Ann Arbor), the Avenue Pub (Wayne), Cutter's (Eastern Market), McShane's Pub (Corktown), Rosie O'Grady's (Ferndale), Krazy Jim's Blimpy Burger (Ann Arbor), Nemo's (Corktown), Mae's (Pleasant Ridge), Greenwich Pub (Detroit), Sidetrack (Ypsilanti), Clubhouse BFD (Rochester), Jay's Stuffed Burgers (Plymouth), Honest John's (Midtown), Doyle's Tavern (Plymouth), Brownie's on the Lake (St. Clair Shores)