Tuesday, August 31, 2010

99 Ways to Stalk Me

You know, I really shouldn't joke about that.

I'm not afraid to kill a man. Just for the record.

So I've got this blog. And I've got a fistful of publications I regularly contribute to which I typically link to here unless I forget or it's print-based only (944, edible WOW). I've got the Twitter, @diningindetroit, which you can choose to follow directly OR just view on the sidebar of this blog:

I've also just added Yelp to my repertoire: nrupersburg.yelp.com.

Now here's the kicker: on this blog I can add "widgets" which will automatically direct you to my Facebook page, my Twitter page, and I can also opt to add some Yelp bling which I may or may not do in the future. I can also set Twitter up to automatically re-post all of my Tweets as status updates on Facebook, or just use the "select Tweets" functionality and hand-pick which ones get re-posted. Now on Facebook I can use the Networked Blogs function to re-post everything I post here (which I do, but selectively), as well as just include links in my status updates to anything with its own direct link outside of this blog (such as Real Detroit articles). And with Yelp I can auto-link both Facebook AND Twitter to re-post every new review I post.

And I haven't even MENTIONED LinkedIn (which auto-links to this blog and Twitter).

So basically what I'm saying is for any given thing that I write there are potentially up to five different sources on which it may be re-posted.

Now. If you're my friend on Facebook, and you follow my Twitter, and you have this blog in your RSS feed, and we're connected on LinkedIn, and friends on Yelp, and you're a faithful reader of Real Detroit every week ... well, that's a WHOLE LOT of Nicole, and I get that. Not that there can EVER be too much Nicole, but I've heard men like a little mystery and also I really need to take care not to invite any more stalkers into my life aside from the self-professed and mostly-harmless ones I already have. So here's the deal:

Let's be friends on Facebook. Let's follow each other's Tweets (I'm lying there, I'm really probably not going to follow you on Twitter because that shit annoys me and MAN I thought some of your Facebook updates were tedious, you twit-wits took tedium to a whole new level with that). Let's connect on LinkedIn, Yelp, and whatever other social networking tool may come into vogue in the coming months and years. The following is the pledge I will make to you. Ready?

Dining in Detroit: I will continue re-posting excerpts from published pieces whenever possible, as well as contribute lengthy original material that is not held to the same level of professional expectation as everything else I write (which means I get to swear a lot). This is about as edgy as I can be without getting lawsuit threats -- and let's leave those with the old blog, shall we?

@diningindetroit on Twitter: This will now be used to automatically link to all Yelp posts, and I will continue to use this as I always have for small tidbits of pertinent restaurant information (great specials, events, openings, closings, random thoughts about beer, etc.). You will still be able to see this on the sidebar of this blog (and on LinkedIn! and on Yahoo Mail!), but I will continue to refrain from re-posting every Tweet on Facebook.

Facebook: Oooh, the biggie. Yes I will continue linking all published articles (including those NOT food-related) as well as posts on this blog to my Facebook feed. I will also continue re-posting delightful news tidbits (such as the recent "Alcoholics live longer" piece you all enjoyed) and sharing the occasional random thought. Most of you will be shielded from my profanity-strewn rage-filled updates unless you are filtered under my "Actual Friends" list ... and if you're not, please don't take it personally, as all you are really missing is me saying "fuck" a lot more than what you currently see. You ALSO have access to the almighty Food Pr0n album -- which, if live-action role playing real time conversations are any indication, you guys LOVE that shit. None of these photos are uploaded elsewhere. I COULD upload them to Twitter, but I don't. ARE YOU BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THOUGHT I PUT INTO THIS YET??? ARE YOU?????

Yelp: All content on Yelp will be unique to Yelp, which means your only access to it will be via Yelp or Twitter. I will not re-post everything I post on Yelp onto Facebook, save for the occasional entry I particularly like or those that do not deal with food (and thus won't be re-Tweeted). There may occasionally be some cross-over (I may write about a place for RDW and write about it seperately for Yelp, etc.) but the content will be separate and unique. I mastered the art of writing about the same place six different times in six different ways long ago; behold my utter lack of concern here and cower at my masterful ability to use the same words and put them in different order so that it appears as though I'm saying something entirely different altogether.

Point (there's ALWAYS one eventually, you should know that by now): I try really hard to keep the content on ALL of these different sites as seperate and unique is possible so that it does not become overkill, while also trying to balance constant visibility and continuous branding. You may hate the self-indulgent rants I often devolve into here but love the more professional and succinct tone I use on Yelp, or vice versa. The bottom line is that your opportunities to read things that I write (be they 140-character bursts or 2,000-word opuses) are damn near limitless (or really, limited to what I am physically capable of cranking out in a given time period), and I make every effort to ensure that the Ruperstarski Super Fans out there don't get bored with any one outlet.

Seriously. I THINK about this shit. In painstaking and obsessive detail. You want to know what it's like inside my head? Read this post again. It's just like that, only on a continuous loop.

So now be my friend on Yelp. Thank you good night.

PS, does social networking make anyone else really sad for the future? I suppose that's a rant for another time and another media outlet.