The Week(s) We Ate (The EID Week in Review Double-Header pt. 2)

ICYMI (um, for next year now I guess):
Here are many ways to avoid the Dream Cruise entirely. And for whatever reason they all seem to revolve around beer. I like beer. Also zombies. There's a thing about zombies. And pop-ups because pop-ups. [EID]

And then there were four. [Hatch]

Sometimes I bury really good nuggets of information in my posts just to see if you're paying attention. I've determined that you're not, but other local media persons damn sure are. So here's more on the new Kuhnhenn Brewing Co. production facility that will be opening in Clinton Twp. (as well as a new take-out location for Bad Brad's). [Macomb Daily]

Bistros fare better than big restaurants in Birmingham, in part because of a shift in customer interests, but also because of the much higher overhead with larger spaces. Crain's Detroit Business checks in with Commonwealth, TOWNHOUSE, Social Kitchen + Bar, and Forest Grill to see how their model of smaller spaces with plenty of outdoor seating and more casual atmospheres attracts more customers. Now the question is...how does this bode for the Stand? [Crain's]

DRW announced their fall dates (Sept. 20-29, FYI). [DRW]

No one does XTREME foods better than Detroit! And, really, are we at all surprised by this? HEY, let's have a food festival dedicated entirely to fried foods! EXTREME fried foods!!! [MLive]

Also, Michigan's biggest contribution to the world of chain restaurants is Domino's Pizza. But hey, at least we're not Illinois. [Thrillist]

First pumpkin beers, now cider mills are opening for the season. Well, the end of summer isn't ALL bad. Yates Cider Mill is now open! [Yates FB]

Lock and Key, the new lounge inside the Oxford Inn that was redone by Food Network Extreme Makeover: Bars, is now open for your judgement. [Detroit News]

Famous person drinks coffee. [Freep]

Looks like Ferndale is getting a big new development that will likely become four storefronts, which means, more likely than not, another restaurant or two. Looking for space for your own concept you want to open? Get in on this early. [Ferndale 115]

A sad: yes, iconic Ann Arbor institution Blimpy Burger has closed. A happy: they're relocating. A sad: they don't know where or when yet. A happy: the best restaurant closing photo in possibly history. [AnnArbor.com / EID / Michigan Radio]

Mattie Armstrong and Ye Olde Tap Room were on Comedy Central's Drunk History. [somewhere on the internet]

Thrillist popped over to the newly-relocated MotorCity Wine, now in Corktown (and with a fab patio). Here is what they came up with for a first date (or any date, when you're still in that stage of dating where impressing the person matters) wine guide. [Thrillist]

Interested in getting involved with the growing local food economy? Have a small start-up food business that you want to get off the ground? FoodLab Detroit is having their first-ever member drive now. [FoodLab]

Alley Wine: now even closer to being almost open. [Alley Wine FB]

Small Plates is opening a second location in Syracuse, NY, with plans to make it a national chain. Probably like the Cheesecake Factory. Only plates will be small, instead of gargantuanly large. So that's a new twist. Remember a few owners, management teams, and years ago when this was one of the best restaurants in Detroit? Memories... [Syracuse.com]

Vegan news: The FBI's largest domestic terrorist organization is now trying to buy space for its propaganda in Detroit using the promotion of veganism as a lifestyle choice that will save Detroit as its excuse. [Freep]

Soooooo...Snack in the Box is opening soon. Somehow I don't imagine this was a pre-opening PR stunt. Oh, Detroit... [Motor City Muckraker]

Chinese fooooood? Yes and then. Here's a list of a few spots I've heard of and more I haven't because, honestly, this is really not my thing. But this is Freep writer Erin's thing! And she totally provides. I think. I wouldn't actually know. I like pizza. [Freep]

Bookies Bar N' Grille and The Oakland are both celebrating anniversaries this Friday. Something tells me there is not going to be a lot of audience overlap here. Like, "MAN, I TOTALLY wanted to go to the Oakland's party but then I'm going to miss out on Bookie's!" is probably something you're not going to hear. But maybe! But probably not. [Detroit News]

Beerie
~The best food bloggity-blog named Jolly Pumpkin's La Roja the best beer in the state. They are not wrong. [First We Feast]

~Let my people go. Or something. [Nasdaq]

~Here is USA TODAY's recap of a list made by The Daily Meal (which was probably aggregated from somewhere else) that says the exact same thing. So, once again, YAY Bell's Brewery and Founders Brewing Co., from now into infinity for every time they should appear on one of these lists, which is every time one of these lists is made and then aggregated in perpetuity. [USA Today]

~Why does The Big Lebrewski Brewing Company not exist yet? Why/ WHY???? [Spotted by Locals]

~People really expend a lot of energy wringing their hands over this. [Business Week]

~Five years ago, oh how people laughed. Now it is being said that craft beer is BETTER in cans. "Ugh, is that a BOTTLE in your hand? You sooooooo just don't get it." [Slate]

~As someone who goes to Vegas usually as few times every year, this news makes me very, very happy. Even as recently as last month when I was there for just a couple of days I noticed some new spots with an actual, bonafide, LEGIT beer list. I've been to both spankin' new Five50 Pizza Bar at ARIA and the very fine Sage at ARIA, and while I think it's a bit early to claim they have the BESTEST BEER LISTS EVAAAAAR as the article seems to suggest (they don't; still a lot of predictable brews and didn't see much evidence of these so-called rare birds), it's still vastly improved from what it used to be. I wouldn't make Vegas your next beercation destination, but give it a year - things happen quickly there. [Forbes]

Misc
~Seriously though, First We Feast is just fucking brilliant. And here is a rant about Cro-Tards and XTREME foods I could not possibly have written better myself. [FWF]

~The cronut. The waffacle. The ramen burger. Now Pepsi-flavored Cheetos. Please let this be the cultural nadir of the XTREME subset of "foodie" culture. [Food Beast]

~USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! [Top Info Post]

~I'm not sure how the math behind all this works (the claim is, essentially, that servers made MORE money despite the automatic gratuity being slightly less than their actual tip average prior to that AND adding tip-sharing with the kitchen crew), but here's another one to add to the "the tipping system in this country is absurd" category. [Slate]

~But for as long as our archaic tipping system is still in place, if you REALLY want to know how to get better tips, take a cue from this guy. Allons-y! [Stranger on Baker Street]

[HOT LIST] Prohibition bars

Two Way Inn. Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

There is a certain amount of Prohibition-era romanticization happening lately with all the new craft cocktail bars around town looking to be throwbacks to the era. (The Sugar House and the Oakland even take their names from the notorious Purple Gang, the biggest Prohibition bootleggers in the country that were based right here in Detroit.) As much as we love these new bars (and for the love of bourbon and bitters we really truly do), we also love an honest-to-God-and-guns dive bar. These places are the real deal: century-old bars tucked away in residential neighborhoods (each grandfathered in as zoning laws were introduced) that operated as bonafide blind pigs during the days of Prohibition and are still slinging drinks to this day.

#1 Two Way Inn (Detroit)
Many bars claim to be the "oldest bar in Detroit," and probably many of them can fairly lay claim to the title when you factor in shades of difference such as "oldest continuously-operated bar" and "oldest family-owned bar." The Two Way Inn, open since 1876, is one of those bars. Over the course of its lifetime it has been a hotel, brothel, jail, general store, blind pig and bar. Now it's just a damn cool place to hang out. The family that owns it live upstairs and it has exactly that kind of family-atmosphere: stopping in is like dropping by your aunt's house and hanging with your cousins. They have parties and host BBQs and pub crawls, but even if there's no special event going on, the Two Way is the kind of place you can always stop in for a beer (they have Zywiec, aka Polish PBR) and end up doing shots of Jerzy (Polish Jaeger) with the new friends you just made. There's a velvet painting on John Wayne on the wall and they have WiFi (hel-lo new office!). Things to note: you have to be buzzed in through the front door (which is just cool) and it's cash only. Oh, and also, it's haunted.

Photo from Hour Detroit.

#2 East Side Tavern (Mount Clemens)
Located in the basement of an old farmhouse on the outskirts of Mt. Clemens (one of metro Detroit's oldest cities), East Side Tavern feels the most like the century-old bar (and former blind pig) that it is. This place is practically a living room, just with a bar instead of a couch. In fact, it's about the size of one, and the ceiling is so low that even at 5'6'' I felt the need to duck. They like to say, “You’re only a stranger here once," and plenty of would-be “friendly neighborhood joints” claim the same, but this is the kind of place where it’s absolutely true. The bartender knows everyone by name, and if she doesn’t know you, you’ll get introduced into the conversation pretty quickly. (Owner Frank DeBruyn, a 76-year-old who jokes about having a bar in his basement, is usually hanging out too.) Once you get past the novelty of this tiny place in this unexpected location, this is simply a great dive bar chill spot where you can go shoot the shit with the natives and eat (no joke) one of the best burgers you've ever had in your life.

#3 Ye Olde Tap Room (Detroit)
Built in the 1800s as a trolley repair station and operating as a bar since 1912, the Tap Room is a Detroit favorite both for the vibe and for the beer and whiskey - 285 beer labels all total (and some really cool stuff too, both American craft and imports) and an extensive selection of single malt scotches and whiskeys. This is a beer and shot place, but fancy beer and fancy shots (though they do sell plenty of Jameson shots with PBR backs). Despite the impressive selection, there's nothing snooty or pompous about this place. The bartenders are some of the coolest and the customers are a good mix of area locals and workers, Detroit scenesters and hipsters, and beeries from near and far. They also just celebrated their annual Prohibition Party (which, admittedly, was the impetus for this list), and were known as one of the Purple Gang's haunts (the basement was a speakeasy). And they have darts, some cool live bands, and an awesome patio in the summer.

#4 The Gold Star (Wyandotte)
Established in 1923, the Gold Star (in Wyandotte's Polish center) is in an old farmhouse smack-dab in the middle of the neighborhood. To give some perspective here, Wyandotte was once in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most churches and bars per square mile of any city in the world (blame the predominant Polish-Catholic roots for their love of God and beer). The Gold Star hearkens back to the day when bars were part of the neighborhood and people could walk to them, and is still very much a local neighborhood hangout. It still has the dirt wall basement that was a speakeasy during Prohibition, and is said to be haunted after a tragic fire that killed four children (it was also the family home). The Bozymowski family, who were the original owners and ran the place for decades, no longer own the bar but you can still stop in and say hi to Val, granddaughter of the original owners who still runs the show. Plus they've got $1 drafts and $5 pitchers all day every day and free pool on Sundays. (Cash only.)

#5 Whiskey in the Jar (Hamtramck)
Whiskey is kind of an infamous Hamtramck hangout that attracts the die-hard bar flies, Hamtramck crust punks, old Poles and Detroit drunks in equal quantities. Everyone knows to go here every time there is a drinking high holiday held in Hamtramck (and there's one pretty much every month), but even in downtime this place is great dive bar hangout. Once a speakeasy, it's now part of the Blowout circuit and is easily one of Hamtramck's most popular bars (and there are many). Sidle up to the bar for some socializing with strangers, and if it's your first time in you have to do a shot of Jerzy. (Seriously. They make you.)

Bubbling under Stonehouse Bar (Detroit), Abick's Bar (Detroit), Tom's Tavern (Detroit), Jacoby's German Biergarten (Detroit), Kovacs Bar (Southwest Detroit), Nancy Whiskey (Detroit), New Dodge Lounge (Hamtramck)

Note: Places like Cliff Bell's, Foran's Grand Trunk Pub, and the Dakota Inn Rathskeller, while all old themselves, did not open as bars until after the end of Prohibition (1933, 1933 and 1935, respectively).

Real Detroit Weekly: Ye Olde Tap Room

"We have longtime bartenders here, people who keep their jobs for 10 years or more," says Mattie Armstrong, the manager at Ye Olde Tap Room. As he tells RDW this, in walks Jennifer Moody, who has worked here for 15 years. "We're all like family here," she says. "Our customers are our true friends. We've been through weddings together; through funerals together ... we live our lives together."

That's a nice thing to say, but it's quite another to see. After shooting some photos and drooling over the beer menu – 285 labels in all – I was ready to make my way home, my business here being done. Then Mattie offered me a beer. One shot of Jameson; three big, bold, black and beautiful beers (go ahead: make a "I like my beer how I like my men" joke); and a large pepperoni pizza delivered from Mama Rosa's later and I knew that this place was the real deal.

Read the rest of the article here.