[HOT LIST] Solid chick blogs

Photo by Nicole Rupersburg.

Who run the world? Girls. EID is giving some love to fellow female food bloggers Beyonce-style this week. There are some that focus on recipes, some on restaurants, and some a mix of both. A couple of them are down in the trenches as fellow freelancers; some are chefs, some are students, some stay-at-home moms. Because female food bloggers tend to get categorized somewhat dismissively as mere "cooking" blogs -- or worse, "mommy" blogs -- these girls don't always get their due in a world full of loud, flashy, graphic-heavy man-blogs. I couldn't have sifted through the plethora of local female-authored food blogs without a little bit of help, so this Hot List comes with special thanks to Noelle Lothamer, whom I contacted for a consult after deciding her blog was getting the #1 spot regardless (ashe is also an admin for the Michigan Lady Food Bloggers).

#1 Simmer Down!
It's mostly a cooking blog (with eye-popping pictures; both the author and her husband are photogs), but it is also the somewhat personal blog of Detroit-area freelance writer and musician Noelle Lothamer. Followers of Simmer Down! read along as Noelle charts not only her own cooking and family adventures (like planning her wedding earlier this year), but also as she covers Detroit's DIY food scene from events like Tashmoo Biergarten to the Detroit Holiday Food Bazaar, which she organizes. Noelle is also a freelance food writer for Model D and the Metro Times. 

#2 Take a Megabite
She says she's "Just a redhead who likes to bake," but Ferndalian Meg Dekok does so much more on her Megabite blog. This blog is a brain feast -- pretty pictures! funny words! WHAT'S THAT, I WANT TO EAT IT! She takes things that are awesome and combines them into things that are MEGA awesome. See: Nutella-Filled Donuts, Monte Cristo Waffle Sandwich, Chocolate Salami. And all so pretty! I think I might love her.

#3 Okie Dokie Artichokie
This Ann Arbor-based blog is a beaut. Author Stephanie Russell is a personal chef and also a freelance writer, and this well-written, witty blog focuses on delivering interesting, somewhat eclectic recipes with gorgeous pictures and a little bit of Stephanie's life mixed in. A navigation bar on the right allows you to easily view different recipes by category (such as "comfort food," "healthy," "Peruvian" and "noodles").

#4 The Wine Gal Blog
Ericia Bartels is the resident "wine gal" and event coordinator at Angelina Italian Bistro, and this blog is all about her adventures in wine (including sitting for the sommelier exam and lunching with the president of a legendary Italian winery). In between personal and professional anecdotes are some fantastic wine finds, and you can stop by Angelina anytime to talk vino with the pro. (Their monthly wine tastings are hugely popular and tend to sell out quickly.)

#5 Fruitcake or Nuts
It's a simple, straightforward, and regularly updated cooking blog with easy-to-follow and none-too-fancy recipes. There's nothing flashy about the design or presentation, and recipes tend to have more of an everyday appeal. And honestly, that's kind of refreshing -- after all, you can't make chicken galantine until you've mastered basic chicken.

Bubbling under 64 Square Foot Kitchen, Dog Hill Kitchen, The Savage Feast, Mira Uncut, The Last Bite, Kitchen Chick, Hungry Girl Por Vida

Seriously Guys, This Whole Phil Cooley/Slows Thing

So the New York Times covered Slows again. Which you know because it was re-posted on Facebook twelve dozen times if once. What was most interesting about all this re-posting was the reactions it drew -- some were thrilled and got all gushy over Phil Cooley (part-owner) and/or the restaurant itself, which many throughout metro Detroit claim is their absolute favorite.

With that also came the voices of dissent, the weary sighs of "Slows AGAIN?" and those adamant in their claims that Slows is NOT in fact the best restaurant in Detroit.

Guess what? It's not.

But that's not the point.

Does Slows have the best food? In my opinion, no. When I do go there it's typically just to drink, and even then that's none too frequent -- I love the beer list (big focus on Michigan craft brews; hi I'm Nicole and I drink a lot of beer), but the consistently large crowds and long waits tend to be a deterrent to me.

So okay, they don't have the best food -- hell, if you asked Phil Cooley HIMSELF if he thought his restaurant was The Best he'd probably say no. But that doesn't matter -- people like it. People like it enough to wait in lines up to three hours long on weekends just to get a seat. People like it enough to drive from the farthest reaches of the suburbs just to wait in that three-hour line. People like it enough to warrant THREE different articles in the New York Times and another in the New York Post, as well as a national nod from Bon Appetit as one of the top 10 new BBQ eateries in the country.

How did Slows become as popular as it is? Beats me. "Phil caught lightning in a bottle with that place," one of his good friends once said to me.

But sometimes a restaurant opens in a place and time and causes a ripple effect that is so much bigger than itself. Sometimes that particular establishment comes to MEAN something in its community; it comes to REPRESENT something greater -- not just a restaurant but a symbol. That place then shapes the community around it, creating a new identity for the community and ushering in a new beginning for that particular place at that particular time.

Slows is that place for Detroit.

The article mentioned that it would be difficult to find a business owner in the city who has not been somehow touched by Phil Cooley. That sounds a bit sweeping and maybe even over-grandiose, but if we're talking specifically about NEW business owners who started out sometime within the last 5 years it's sure as hell true. Go ahead; find me one.

A lot of people complained about the portrayal of Phil as the posterboy for the city. You know what? We sure as hell could do worse than him. He's smart, funny, attractive, successful, and above all else humble--why wouldn't we want this person representing us? If not him, then who? I'd rather choke on a Yardbird than see some of the other smarmy, self-serving, self-congratulatory types who would LOVE nothing more than to be given that opportunity be in that position, those who claw so desperately for their piece of the All Eyes on Detroit pie. Give me one Phil Cooley over a thousand of those types and plaster his face on billboards all over the country that simply say " = Detroit."

The article speaks of his commitment to the community, his charity work, the various efforts he makes to help others succeed. Now I don't make it my business to stalk the guy as some seem to, but being yet another grape on this Detroit vine I do hear things. I couldn't possibly try to recount the various Good Deeds of Phil Cooley, but I can say this: he cares more about this city than anyone else I've ever met, and he means it. His brand of boosterism is utterly sincere, and it's also quiet. One thing you won't see Phil Cooley do is post links on his Facebook page to any and every article written that happens to say "Detroit!", nor will his status updates read "Gee willikers Detroit is super-cool! *wide-eyed blink*" Homeboy doesn't even HAVE a Facebook page (honestly -- does he really need one?). And he's certainly not running around time waving his arms around and jumping in front of every camera and microphone he sees cross his path. If you could accuse him of anything it would be being too much of an idealist. A journalist friend once asked me if Phil were "actually crazy enough to want to do something with the train station." My answer: he just may be.

There are worse things to be.

And despite all of this national attention, Phil remains steadfastly humble. Everyone else around him seems to know he's Phil Cooley except for him. I remember, during the short-lived days of the Mercury Coffee Bar, reading another blogger recounting an experience at the MCB where Phil himself was out on the floor sweeping and mopping. At a recent dinner party for over 100 people, Phil was out there serving food right along with the proles. For as much as people seem to elevate, even idolize, even idolatrize him, Phil is still just Phil.

I've commented privately to a select number of friends whom I can say such things to that if I did not live in the city, I would think there were exactly three restaurants here: Slows, Good Girls Go to Paris Crepes, and Supino Pizzeria. And that's it. These are the places that seem to receive the most attention, but you know what? Every single one of these business owners is an absolute stand-up fucking human and if these are the people who are representing my city then all I have to say is thank GOD.

But above them all stands Phil, and Slows. Slows: the restaurant that has become synonymous with Detroit and vice-versa. Is it the only restaurant here? Is it the BEST restaurant here? No and no. But it's not like this is the first time Detroit has been misrepresented in national media--and hell, even our OWN media is often guilty of lazy piggyback journalism. And this is the ONLY restaurant in the city--really even state--that has consistently attracted the attention of publications across the country over the past few years, and it is always represented in a positive way which means FINALLY after all of our grousing that Detroit ITSELF is being represented in a positive way. And this...is...a bad thing?

Sometimes a restaurant opens and it comes to mean more to the communtiy than simply being a place to eat. Sometimes it becomes bigger than itself.

Phil Cooley didn't ask to be the posterchild of Detroit, but he is. And he's doing the best that he can with it. Detroit needs a hero, it's very own White Knight. Our politicians and community leaders have failed us. So why not an energetic, youthful idealist who owns a really freakin' popular restaurant? We could do worse, guys.

If this were high school (and my GOD does it ever feel like it sometimes, but I digress), Phil Cooley would be the most popular guy in school. In fact his popularity would ECLIPSE the popularity of all others. He'd be the most popular guy in high school even YEARS after he graduated, after he went off to college and moved away. He'd be so popular he'd be mythic. Everyone in this city wants to be connected to Phil Cooley. Everyone here wants to claim him as their personal friend. Everyone simply wants to be in his orbit, or even just be seen near him.

I call him "Prince Phil" but I do it in jest. He may or may not find it funny but he's too fucking kind to say otherwise, so he usually just smiles politely and volleys the comment off to someone else. But I'd vote this guy for fucking President. Detroit is lucky to have him here, being as passionate and sincere as he is, regardless of whether the ribs at his restaurant are any good or not.

I love to snark on things just as much as the next guy, and yes, I AM that person who reads the latest New York Times feature in a flurry of Facebook re-posts and thinks "Slows AGAIN?" But after thinking long and hard about this over the last day I realized, Detroit could do a lot worse.

Metro Times Best-Of Breakdown 2010 (Staff Picks)

Word to the wise: do not go to Foran's on an empty stomach. Then don't proceed to do several shots of Jameson('s) and drink many dark high-alcohol beers with names like El Mole Ocho. Then don't eat a container full of cold pesto-chicken pasta in about 30 seconds. Just saying.

And now, if I can get these trembles under control, I give my opinion on how other people's opinions are wrong. Or possibly, in this case, right. Let's find out.

Staff Picks

Best New Restaurant — Upscale
Café Via
No argument. Not many new upscale places to choose from, anyway.

Best Discount Splurge
Atlas Global Bistro
Christian Borden is a fucking genius.

Best Fine-Dining Value
Bistro 222
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! This was going to be my super-top-secret special find!!! DAMN YOU, METRO TIMES!

Best Pre-Theater — Moderate
The Majestic Cafe
Or Union Street, I'm comfortable with either.

Best Service
Due Venti
No kidding? Not that I'm arguing, this just seems like a damn-near impossible category to judge.

Best Return to Roots
Cinco Lagos
Best Mexican in Milford! (*crickets*)

Best Recession Makeover
Big Beaver Tavern
Allow me to add an additional quote from the blurb: "Among the new items is the huge burger whose $12.99 price tag comes with a T-shirt proclaiming that 'I Ate the Big Beaver.'" The jokes just write themselves, people.

Best New Spinoff
Shangri-La
Agreed. Me likey some dim sum.

Best New Dining Destination
Grosse Pointe
NFW, I was JUST saying something about this on Facebook! GP is all of 15 minutes away from me and yet I act like it's freakin' Ann Arbor. I greatly enjoyed the Hill Chophouse when I was there a couple of years ago, and I really want to check out Dylan's and Robusto's. And the Dirty Dawg Jazz Cafe since it was named "Restaurant of the Year" by Hour, a designation I'm just a tad bit skeptical of.

Best Reason to Dine in Tecumseh
Evans St. Station
Where the fuck is Tecumseh?

Best Al Fresco in the Vicinity of Downtown Detroit
Le Petit Zinc Creperie & Café
Which is NOT CLOSED. I repeat: NOT CLOSED.

Best Ann Arbor Restaurant
Eve: The Restaurant
She's opening a Cuban-esque place soon too, called Frita Batido.

Best Seafood
SaltWater
Gorgeous interior, but my socks failed to be knocked off by it. Still, stellar service and beautiful inside.

Best Barbecue
Union Woodshop
:O :O :O I'm not even going to say it.

Best Sandwich Shop
Famous Izzy's Restaurant and Bakery
Except for you have to go to Roseville.

Best Sandwich Shop — Downtown Detroit
Lunchtime Global
If only they were open past 5pm I might actually go.

Best Sushi Lounge
Inyo
It was a-ight. They pretty much lifted their entire sushi menu from Crave, even named some of the rolls by the same name. And $17 for their signature roll? They can keep it. Much prefer Sakana, right across the street.

Best Small Plates
Cliff Bell's
3 words: Duck Confit Biscuit.

Best Thin-Crust Pizza
Supino Pizzeria
Yesssssss!!!

Best New Haven Pizza
Tomatoes Apizza
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best Pizza and Wine
Crust
YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! (*pounding the table*)
Pant...pant...pant...oh, that was good, just what I needed.

Best Soups
Modern Food & Spirits
Another one that seems like it would be impossible to judge.

Best Upscale Burger
Motor Burger
888 Erie St. E., Windsor, Ontario; 519-252-8004
A burger worth crossing the border for? Hope they don't find the 2 dozen kilos of cocaine in my trunk. I'm just kidding, that much coke would never fit in my trunk.

Best Falafel
Yossi’s
Israel is cool. Or not, if you're Palestinian.

Best Pommes Frites
Bastone
Relax, it just means French fries.

Best Pho
Thang Long
Agreed.

Best Duck
Sabidee
Mmmmmm, duck. Duck confit biscuit. Wait, wrong place. Mmmmm, crispy duck skin.

Best Place to Order a Calamari Appetizer and Bottle of Wine
El Barzón
Your choice: bomb-ass Mexican or bomb-ass Italian. Both under the same roof, and the wine is CHEAP.

Best Corned Beef Hash
Farmer's Restaurant
I heard that place was terrible. I dig the corned beef hash at Woodbridge Pub though, not that this is something I order on any kind of regular basis anywhere.

Best Tacos al Pastor
Los Altos
Screw the beef; where's the pork?

Best Sweet Potato Fries
Seva
And probably the only thing I would ever eat here.

Best Crêpes
What Crêpe?
2 words: Mushroom Madness.

Best Hot & Sour Soup
Dong Sing
Heh, you said "dong."

Best Soul Food Restaurant
Beans & Cornbread: A Soulful Bistro
Is this the only soul food place white people know about? I'm sorry for my kind.

Best Italian Restaurant — Non-Chain
Bacco
Fuck yes.

Best Greek Restaurant
Cyprus Taverna
Again, they're pretty much all the same.

Best Middle Eastern Restaurant
Anita's Kitchen
Another white people joke.

Best Authentic Mediterranean Restaurant
Lebanese Grill
Alright, this list now gets excruciatingly specific so I'm just going to barrel through it down to the next categorical theme.

Best Local Innovation in Middle Eastern Cuisine
La Saj Lebanese Grill

Best Cheap Middle Eastern Restaurant
Beirut Kabob

Best Ethnic Restaurant on a Budget
Aladdin Sweets & Café

Best Ethiopian Restaurant
Taste of Ethiopia
Ew.

Best Indian Restaurant
Rangoli Indian Cuisine

Best Indian Buffet
Royal Indian Cuisine

Best Indian Street Food
Neehee's Indian Vegetarian Street Food
VERY surprised this one didn't make the readers' poll. Or maybe it did, I gotta be honest I kind of skimmed that category.

Best Vietnamese Restaurant
Da Nang
One of my top 10 favorite finds of 2009.

Best Thai Restaurant
Sawasdee
At least it's not Sala Thai. But again, these places are kind of all the same. And Asian people all look the same, too. (Calm it down, I was being sarcastical.)

Best Chinese Take-Out
Gim Ling
Rrrrrr???? This is new to me. I am interested.

Best Retro Experience
Mr. Paul's Chop House
Boodles!

Best Irish Pub Food
Dick O'Dow's
Gus O'Connor's in Rochester (NOT Novi or the other one). Dick O'Dow's has good food, but Gus's has the most and best authentic Irish cuisine. And they have Magner's. Farking Magner's man, bloody hell brilliant!

Best Friendly Neighborhood Bar and Grill
Motor City Brewing Works
FORAN'S!!!!! But yeah, I like this place well enough.

Best Diner
Northside Grill
What the...? Oh, it's in Ace Deuce, that's why.

Best Slow Food
Mind Body & Spirits
You know, there are so many restaurants doing the Slow Food thing now that aren't necessarily proclaiming how they do the Slow Food thing that it makes me kind of over this place, even though I've never been. Gimmicks bother me, even if it's a gimmick I stand behind (sustainability in food, supporting local farmers, etc.). Plus a friend in both the construction and bar business told me that it isn't even CLOSE to being possible to occupy a building and operate a restaurant that is nearly as "green" as they claim to be, and I believe that without doing any additional research whatsoever.

Best 'Blunch'
The Fly Trap
It would be called "brunch" but that requires booze, which they do not have.

Best Street Food Destination
Eastern Market
Southwest Detroit!

Best Restaurant for Cocktail Hour
Roast
Ahhhhh, THERE it is!

Best Takeout
Lazybones Smokehouse
Again, another tough category. I mean, pretty much EVERYWHERE does takeout. How do you even begin to qualify it?

Best Restaurant to Spot Anthony Bourdain
Polonia
I want his job.

Best Restaurant to Mourn
Annam Restaurant Vietnamien
No doubt. Also, Tribute.

Best Hospital Food
Hummous, Oakwood Hospital, Dearborn
Isn't Matt Prentice doing the food at the Henry Ford in West Bloomfield now too? Dude, I wanna go to the hospital for dinner.

Best Rationale for Naming a Restaurant
Parrot Cove Yacht Club
Arrrrrr.

Best Mexican Sit-Down Lunch Counter
La Mexicana #4
Waterford, what what! Don't know if you knew this, but Waterford is FULL of Mexican restaurants and taquerias. Elizabeth Lake Rd. is the new Vernor!

Best Urban Poolside Dining
Lefty's Lounge
I don't know why this makes me think of The Big Lebowski, but it does.

Best Restaurant Where You Can't Find a Seat
Slows
Word.

Best Food Recommendation from an Olympic Gold Medalist
Buffalo Empañada at the Prickly Pear
That guy's a tool, but the dish sounds yummy. Actually, I don't really know if he's a tool, I just wanted to say that. It seems likely, anyway.

Best Ice Cream
Guernsey Farms Dairy
I LOVE dairy. Dairy dairy dairy. Milk and cheese and ice cream, deeeelicious dairy. If I ever become lactose intolerant, I will die of starvation entirely by choice.

Best Unusual Dairy
Erma's Original Frozen Custard
God bless custard, too.

Best Neighborhood Bakery
Mexicantown Bakery
*tear* Thank you, Metro Times. Thank you.

Best Desserts
Rattlesnake Club
Iridescence too!

Thanks for playing the 2010 edition of "Nicole makes fun of Metro Times readers then acknowledges that the staff still knows what the fuck they're talking about." I look forward to doing this again next year, and maybe (and thanks to a reader for suggesting this) doing one of my own. And it will be the BEST. LIST. EVER. Because I am full of win. That is all.

Metro Times Best-Of Breakdown 2010 (Readers Picks)

Hi there. It's ahhhhhh, it's been awhile, I know. Look, I've just been really busy with...things. You know how that goes, right? So. Ummmm....so what's been up? You look well. Been keeping busy? Ha...yeah, this isn't awkward at all.

Okay guys, so my complete lack of original content here lately hasn't escaped my attention, and I can no longer pretend that it may be escaping yours. I've had some lifey stuff to deal with, and some jobby stuff to deal with, and the rest of the time I've been at Foran's (and Ian K. Washington if you take my stool again I swear to Christ). Oh! I've been helping with the FOOD+FUN guide put out by the Downtown Detroit Partnership (the print version anyway)! So, you know, there was that. I guess what I'm saying is, it's not you it's me. I'm just really focused on my career right now and I need to prioritize things that are most important and...WHOA let me stop there, just got a little too Twilight Zoney.

Anyway, I'd like to put this little bit of unpleasantness behind us, can we? To start, I want to begin with one of my favorite things to do: making fun of the readers' picks from this year's Metro Times Best-Of. Oh, people just make me laugh and laugh and laugh sometimes! I know this issue came out, like, two months ago, but like I said--look man, there's a lot of ins and outs, ups and downs...

So without further delay, the snark you've come to know and love and miss so very much (besides, I like ragging on the Metro Times because I STILL DON'T FUCKING WRITE FOR THEM, DO YOU HEAR ME JACKMAN, and I learned from when I was a kid that the best way to get a boy to like you is to make fun of him and beat him up):

Readers' Picks
Some people shouldn't be allowed to feed themselves.

Best New Restaurant
Best Steakhouse — Wayne County
Roast
We're off to a good start. Let's see how long this lasts. PS, there's like a MEEEEELION categories here, and no "Best Happy Hour"??? Or maybe there's a separate section for that, my time is limited people. Either way, Roast should win that too.

Best Restaurant to Take Out-of-Towners
Best Barbecue — Wayne
Best Beer Selection in a Restaurant
Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $50 — Wayne
Slows Bar-B-Q
And here we go. Look, we get it: you people love it. There are now two different trendy BBQ places downtown set to open soon that are going to try to compete with it, but it won't make a lick of difference because you fucking people LOVE it and nothing is ever going to change that, especially you suburbanites who I'm pretty sure think that this is the only restaurant in the whole entire city of Detroit. Oh, to be Phil Cooley...or at least have his eyes, he's got dreamy eyes.
(NOTE: My pithy comments are in no way a reflection of how I feel about Slows. I actually think it's a great place for this city and the fact that it has received so much favorable national press is a HUGE asset for Detroit. Phil Cooley and his partners have done an amazing job creating a place that is welcoming and fun for everyone who walks in the door, and that's what has made it so successful. Congratulations to them on that; they should be very proud. My ONLY gripe is that people from outside the city only seem to know/pay attention to this place, and I just wish THAT at least was different. However, at least this is something positive that they know about, and that right there is good enough. I wouldn't be me if I didn't snark, but in my heart of Detroit hearts I mean no offense so don't confuse it, k? Making fun of suburbanites here, not Slows or its ownership.)

Best Romantic Restaurant — Wayne
The Whitney
Giggidy giggidy giggidy giggidy. (<----that's a reference to my old "my future husband" joke. Which I am resurrecting effective immediately. Giggidy.) Best Romantic Restaurant — Oakland county
Melting Pot
Nothing more romantic than being stuck in a private dining room with someone else's screaming kid as you skewer and boil your own raw meat, I say.

Best Wine Selection in a Restaurant
Best Romantic Restaurant — Macomb county
Andiamo's
This is so full of fail I can't even acknowledge it.

Best Romantic Restaurant — Washtenaw County
The Earle
This is what I keep hearing, from at least one trusted source (and there ain't many of those). I'll go if someone else drives and buys.

Best Restaurant View
Coach Insignia
Up until recently, I would have agreed, but the water-level panoramic view of the Riverfront at Forty-Two Degrees North beats all. I am also a huge fan of the patio at It's a Matter of Taste, as you can see in the June issue of 944 Detroit.

Best After-Hours Restaurant — Wayne
Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $15 — Wayne
Best Coney Island — Wayne
Lafayette Coney Island
Oh, Jesus Christ. I would say "best" only if it were "only." And it's not, btw.

Best After-Hours Restaurant — Oakland
Best Coney Island — Oakland & Washtenaw
Leo's Coney Island
Guys, there are other after-hours places besides Coney Islands. Just FYI. How about Como's? That's an improvement at least.

Best Coney Island — Macomb
Best After-Hours Restaurant — Macomb
Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $15 — Macomb
Best Late-Night Eatery
National Coney Island

Best After-Hours Restaurant — Washtenaw
Fleetwood Diner
?

Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $15 — Oakland
Fly Trap
Okay, yeah. Maybe Pete's Broadway Cafe too.

Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $15 — Washtenaw
Jerusalem Garden
?

Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $50 — Wayne
Tie: Mario's
4222 Second Ave., Detroit; 313-832-1616
Slows
Okay, first of all, WHO can possibly spend less than $50 at Mario's (a). (b) I should just stop fighting the Slows phenomenon and learn to just accept it. I could argue that there are dozens of other quality under-$50 restaurants in the downtown area and if you people would just give them a chance you would see that there really is something out there other than Slows, which isn't to say that Slows isn't good or that it doesn't provide a fantastic experience, it's just that I'd like for you to broaden your horizons a bit and really experience the city and see all it has to offer, that's all...but it would be a waste of breath. Phil Cooley has dreamy eyes.

Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $50 — Oakland
Bastone
Only if I'm not eating.

Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $50 — Macomb
Best Steakhouse — Macomb
Mr. Paul's Chop House
Under $50 at Mr. Paul's??? Did I miss something?

Best Restaurant to Spend Less Than $50 — Washtenaw
Zingerman's
You've got to be fucking kidding me. I think it costs $50 just to walk in the door. HAHA, jokes about how expensive Zingerman's is!!! LOL!!! In all honesty, yes, it will be under $50--but remember, we're still talking sandwiches here and this ain't the under $15 category.

Best Italian Cuisine — Wayne, Oakland & Macomb
Andiamo's
Excuse me, my stomach just flip-flopped.

Best Italian Cuisine — Washtenaw
Palio
Never even heard of it.

Best French Cuisine
Le Petit Zinc
Sorry, CLOSED.
RETRACTION: Not closed. Thank you to my future husband for doing the fact checking I *should* have done myself and kindly informing me.

Best Greek Cuisine
Pegasus Taverna
They're pretty much all the same.

Best Eastern European Cuisine
Polish Village Cafe
They're pretty much all the same.

Best Mexican Cuisine — Wayne
Xochimilco Restaurant
How about, only Mexican Cuisine in Wayne County people know the name of! I'll take a $1.25 taco truck carnitas taco ANY. DAY.

Best Mexican Cuisine — Oakland
Zumba Mexican Grille
How about, only Mexican Cuisine in Oakland County people know the name of! I'm fighting a losing battle here. Is Milford still Oakland County? Cinco Lagos!

Best Mexican Cuisine — Macomb
El Charro
How about...oh, fuck it.

Best Mexican Cuisine — Washtenaw
Tie: Tio's
La Fiesta Mexicana
How about I have no idea.

Best Caribbean Cuisine
Bahama Breeze
Must mean "only." Jerk spicy and tin drums does not a Caribbean restaurant make.

Best African Cuisine
Blue Nile
At least it's not Taste of Ethiopia. Which is the other option.

Best Chinese Cuisine — Wayne
Shangri-La
Agreed.

Best Chinese Cuisine — Oakland
P.F. Chang's
What, we don't like Hong Hua anymore? Does Hong Hua even still exist? OH, SNAP, Mon Jin Lau lost!?! :O

Best Chinese Cuisine — Macomb
Tie: Golden Harvest
P.F. Chang's
Wok Inn, bitches!!!

Best Chinese Cuisine — Washtenaw
Great Lakes Chinese Seafood
I'm useless here.

Best Thai Cuisine — Wayne County
Bangkok 96
They're pretty much all the same. x4

Best Thai Cuisine — Oakland
Siam Spicy

Best Thai Cuisine — Macomb
Sy Thai Shore Restaurant

Best Thai Cuisine — Washtenaw
Tup Tim Thai

Best Indian Cuisine — Wayne
Ashoka
Ok.

Best Indian Cuisine — Oakland
Priya
Sure.

Best Indian Cuisine — Macomb
Four-way tie; Indo Pak
27707 Dequindre Rd., Madison Heights; 248-541-3562
New Delhi
37222 Dequindre Rd., Sterling Heights; 586-264-3333
Rangoli Indian Grill
44631 Mound Rd., Sterling Heights; 586-726-8811
The Chettinad
2079 15 Mile Rd., Sterling Heights; 586-446-9430
Good goddamn, look at all this damn Indian food in the MC!

Best Indian Cuisine — Washtenaw
Tie:
Raja Rani
400 S. Division St., Ann Arbor; 734-995-1545
Shalimar
307 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; 734-663-1500
There's a lot of Indian places, huh?

Best Middle Eastern Cuisine — Wayne
Al-Ameer
Don't argue with the Arabs. Thees guy, he makes the BEST falafel, thees guy over here.

Best Middle Eastern Cuisine — Oakland
Anita's Kitchen
I hear conflicting things about this place. White people love it, Arabs think it's disgusting. Let's see, whose opinion should I lean towards...

Best Middle Eastern Cuisine — Macomb
Cedar Garden
Never been.

Best Middle Eastern Cuisine — Washtenaw
Jerusalem Garden
Heard good things.

Best Korean Cuisine
Wasabi Korean and Japanese
I like.

Best Japanese Cuisine
Tie: Benihana
Noble Fish
I half agree.

Best Cheap Breakfast — Wayne
Honest John's
Are they still open since the owner left?

Best Cheap Breakfast — Oakland
Club Bart
Only if you don't get the bottomless mimosas. Which are cheap in their own right, but a "cheap breakfast" that does not make.

Best Cheap Breakfast — Macomb
Phoenix Coney
I think I've been there. Where's it at again? Is it by the Clem?

Best Cheap Breakfast — Washtenaw
Tie: Beezy's
20 N. Washington St., Ypsilanti; 734-485-9625
Northside Grill
1015 Broadway, Ann Arbor; 734-995-0965
*Shrug*

Best Breakfast or Brunch — Wayne
Russell Street Deli
When I think "brunch" I think "booze," which they do not have. Everything else, sure.

Best Breakfast or Brunch — Oakland
Toast
I can agree with this, though I know a few other places that I wish to keep secret lest you people flood them, too.

Best Breakfast or Brunch — Macomb
The Pantry
Been AGES, but was always good.

Best Breakfast or Brunch — Washtenaw
Café Zola
THAT's the one I keep confusing with Detroit's Chez Zara! Oh, LOL @me!

Best All-Around Buffet
Palette Dining Studio
If the words "best" and "buffet" just HAD to be in the same sentence.

Best Soul Food — Detroit
Steve's Soul Food Restaurant

Best Soul Food — Suburbs
Beans and Cornbread
I like how separate counties didn't get their own. What are you trying to say, guys? Hmmm? I just discovered this new place out in Grand Blanc...hell if I can remember the name of it, but DAMN good cornbread.

Best Sushi
Noble Fish
Ok.

Best Barbecue — Oakland
Memphis Smoke
Not even good.

Best Barbecue — Macomb
Lazybones Smokehouse
Tug-off-the-bone style dry-rub ribs, if memory serves.

Best Barbecue — Washtenaw
Blue Tractor
They serve beer in cans ironically. They get my vote!

Best Vegan or Vegetarian
Inn Season Café
But why?

Best Seafood Restaurant — Wayne
Detroit Fish Market
Hahahahahahahaha-CLOSED! This place blew anyway. HARD. Best runner-up: Saltwater. Or, hell, the tuna sashimi at Wolfgang Puck is actually even better and you need to start believing me when I say this because I am always always right.

Best Seafood Restaurant — Oakland
Lily's Seafood
Northern Lakes.

Best Seafood Restaurant — Macomb
Red Lobster
Aw, shucks--I suppose I could have expected nothing less from my Macomb County brethren. Which is funny because they all live near Lake St. Clair and there's A LOT of seafood places along Lake St. Clair. But Red Lobster is for the seafood lover in you, and really, who can resist those cheddar biscuits?

Best Seafood Restaurant — Washtenaw
Real Seafood Company

Best Steakhouse — Oakland
Ruth's Chris Steak House
I guess. It's difficult to be impressed by a steakhouse anymore.

Best Steakhouse — Washtenaw
The Chop House

And as an alternate for Wayne County aside from Roast, I submit: the booby bar. Seriously. The Coliseum or the Penthouse Club specifically, but I have yet to find a booby bar steak or burger that doesn't put most others to shame. And they have lunch specials!

Best Wings
Buffalo Wild Wings
I do loooooove me some spicy garlic sauce (I put it on pizza!), but this award should go to Sweetwater Tavern.

Best Burger — Wayne
Miller's Bar
Not by a long shot, but it's got the best kitcsh factor.

Best Burger — Oakland
Red Coat Tavern
Mmmmm.

Best Burger — Macomb
Five Guys Burger and Fries
Ew.

Best Burger — Washtenaw
Krazy Jim's Blimpy Burger
Uhhhh.

Best Neighborhood Pizza — Wayne
Supino Pizzeria
FINALLY! YOU'RE NOT ALL IDIOTS!

Best Neighborhood Pizza — Oakland
Best Pizza in a Bar — Macomb
Buddy's
So much pizza in this area and you all always vote for Buddy's.

Best Neighborhood Pizza — Macomb
Jet's Pizza
Oh hell, why not Little Caesar's Hot-n-Ready? :P

Best Neighborhood Pizza — Washtenaw
Pizza House
Only when you're drunk.

Best Brewpub or Microbrewery — Wayne
Best Pizza in a Bar — Wayne
Motor City Brewing Works
I like this place. I don't think it wins at either, but I do like this place.

Best Pizza in a Bar — Oakland
Green Lantern
Okay, yes.

Best Pizza in a Bar — Washtenaw
Aubree's

Best Gourmet Pizza
Amici's Pizza
I'm getting bored with this.

Best Deli — Wayne
Mudgie's

Best Deli — Oakland
Al's Famous Deli
Stage.

Best Deli — Macomb
Tie: Bread Basket Deli
2201 E. Eight Mile Rd., Warren; 586-754-0055
New York Deli
2715 E. 14 Mile Rd., Sterling Heights; 586-826-9330; three more locations in Macomb County

Best Deli — Washtenaw
Zingerman's Deli

Best Brewpub or Microbrewery — Oakland
Woodward Avenue Brewers
FAIL! How does Bastone take "Best place to spend under $50" but it DOESN'T take this one? *sigh*

Best Brewpub or Microbrewery — Macomb
Dragonmead Microbrewery
See, everything else has its own separate categories ("neighborhood pizza" vs. "pizza in a bar")--so why are the brewpubs or microbreweries getting the short stick here? Should be: Best Microbrewery, Tie: Kuhnhenn Brewing Co. & Dragonmead. Best Brewpub: Sherwood Brewing Co.

Best Brewpub or Microbrewery — Washtenaw
Arbor Brewing Co.
Ugh, that's as bad as the WAB. Beer, meh; food, more meh. JOLLY PUMPKIN!!!! I would also accept Grizzly Peak.

Best Wine Bar
Vinotecca
Only wine bar. Wait, there's one in Rochester now too, isn't there? Oh well, Vinotecca by default.

Best Crêpes
Good Girls Go to Paris
I am also a big big fan of What Crepe?

Best Appetizers in a Restaurant
Applebee's
No.

Best Bakery — Wayne
Avalon International Breads
No. No no no no no, I have to put my foot down here. Rock-hard bone-dry $3.50 scones made with green-safe organic hippy-dippy flour does not the best bakery make. Seriously, guys, I've held my tongue with this long enough and I cannot do it any longer. Everything in this place is overpriced which I wouldn't even mind but for the fact that it just simply isn't that stupendous. You want bread, pastries, sandwiches--have you even BEEN to any of the Mexican bakeries in SW Detroit, or the Asian bakeries in Madison Heights, or the Arab bakeries on Warren in Dearborn? These places are producing FAR better breads and pastries at a fraction--A FRACTION!--of the price. Now granted, they lack that trendy-Detroit-scenester factor you all seem to love so much, but SERIOUSLY. $3.50 for a dry-ass scone AND I have to wait an hour for a table? Time to branch out, people. I know that all the places I just named are ethnic, but I promise you'll be okay. I do like the sea salt chocolate chip cookies though.

Best Bakery — Oakland
Pinwheel Bakery

Best Bakery — Macomb
Tie: Mannino's Bakery
Sweetheart

Best Bakery — Washtenaw
Zingerman's Bakehouse

Best Desserts in a Restaurant
Traffic Jam
You know, dessert is not something I pay a lot of attention to. Unless it's a cheese plate. Which they have here. So I'll keep an open mind.

Best Sweets Shop
Astoria Pastry Shop
No.

Best Sit-Down Ice Cream Shop
Coldstone Creamery
Shatila.

Best Indie Coffee House — Wayne
Café 1923
YES!

Best Indie Coffee House — Oakland
AJ's Cafe
Sure. I do like Bean & Leaf though.

Best Indie Coffee House — Macomb
Che Cosa
Damn, that place is still around? I used to chain smoke in there while all the Italians watched soccer. Oh, to be young again.
UPDATE: I think I confused this place with a different place. This place is in the dowtown Clem; been there once or twice during the fireworks in between rawk music sets, seem to remember something fruity in a blender. Wasn't that impressed.

Best Indie Coffee House — Washtenaw
Ugly Mug Café & Roastery
I just like the name. But Comet Coffee wins here, and even *I* know that.

The Untouchables
The 14 restaurants that stubbornly remain at the top of their category

Best View: Coach Insignia
At least until somebody else builds a restaurant 700 feet in the air.
Forty-Two Degrees North.

Best River View: Rattlesnake Club
You may not have the most commanding view of the river, but the fine-dining razzle-dazzle says you found the right spot.
Technically it's not even *on* the river. Forty-Two Degrees North!

Best Splurge: The Lark
With a menu whose prices might send somebody's eyebrows jumping off their head, this is the place to spend freely — that $90 serving of caviar and crème fraîche, for instance.
Splurge, yes. Best, no. I want to splurge at Bourbon Steak, THAT would be a fun night.

Best Vegetarian-Vegan: Inn Season Café
Inn Season was there first, and keeps up its game, building relationships with farmers, shopping day-to-day for freshness, and doing it all with a high level of creativity.
I like the sustainable thing, but I also like meat.

Best Bakery: Avalon International Breads
Avalon was among the first quality stores to take root in Detroit's Cass Corridor; today, they continue to grow.
I've said my piece.

Best Italian Chain: Andiamo's
No contest. When you have a miniature empire of some of the finest Italian restaurants in metro Detroit, you're going to win again and again. Capisce?
Bacco, what? Oh right, not a chain. Still: Bacco. Or Cafe Cortina, which I have yet to try but would venture a guess that it's better than Andiamo.

Best Mexican Restaurant: Señor Lopez Taqueria
Southwest Detroit brims over with Mexican cuisine, but it's this unpretentious little spot on Michigan Avenue that wins our critics' hearts year in and year out.
Taqueria Lupita.

Best Polish Restaurant: Polish Village Café
With low prices, high quality, a full bar, and a basement where a portrait of FDR has probably been up since 1931, you can't beat PVC's authentic vibe.
Duck blood soup!

Best Square Deep-Dish Pizza: Loui's
Not only is their pizza unbeatable, also winning are the waitresses who call you "Hon'" and an interior adorned with empty Chianti bottles.
Who? Louie's? Luigi's? What is this supposed to be?

Best Burger: Redcoat Tavern
Not only is this the metroplex's top burger as long as we can remember, the menu has lots of winners, and the bartender has a bent elbow.
Mmmmmm, beef. Bourbon Steak and Roast both threaten to take this title, but this is still a damn good burger.

Best Dim Sum: Shangri-La
In the West Bloomfield location, you'll find metro Detroit's most dazzling array of authentic Chinese treats.
Pork buns!

Best Sushi: Noble Fish
Fake Shinto shrines, faux tatami surfaces and a dozen "lucky cats" at the cash register don't necessarily mean good sushi. But this unassuming little shop has a no-frills café in the rear that serves sushi of outstanding quality.
Yeah.

Best Al Fresco: La Dolce Vita
Not the grandest outdoor dining area in metro Detroit, but perhaps it's the contrast between the walled-in, vine-covered oasis and the gritty urban streetwall it hides behind. Either way, it's like a bit of Tuscany just off McNichols.
I like how this was put. Jackman, we should work together.

Best Coney Island: Lafayette
Is there any better place to rub shoulders at 2:30 a.m.? If there is, we haven't seen it yet.
Except for that it's gross, but lucky for you you're too drunk to know that.

DRW Dining Guide Inside the Metro Times

File under: Why didn't I think of this.

This week's issue of the Metro Times has a GREAT 8-page insert which gives you everything you need to know (aside from what I tell you) about Restaurant Week. Complete menus for all 17 participating restaurants as well as bios on EVERY chef at every restaurant give you a great insider's look at each venue, and may assist you in making your dining decisions. Or make them more difficult. Yeah, that could probably backfire.

Pick it up on newsstands now before it's gone on Wednesday!

Kitchen Confidential Detroit

My favorite Editor Who I Don't Work For But Am Still Fond of Regardless wrote a story about the Dreadlock Mafia running the kitchen at the Whitney (and other culinary crusaders who opted for chefs' knives over switchblades) and it's on the cover of this week's Metro Times. Check it out: "Sharp Young Things."

Bravo to Michael Jackman for a killer story, even though I don't work for him.