So apparently now restaurants are starting to ban customers from taking pictures of their food with their phones. This is of course happening in New York City, because if New York chefs weren't flapping their arms and stamping their feet over something they would probably be working somewhere in the Rust Belt where the chefs don't act like pampered princesses* and instead focus on their jobs, which is to put food on a fucking plate.
They're citing a diminishment of the overall dining experience as a result of "food porn" photography as their basis for the ban.
“Some people are arrogant about it. They don’t understand why. But we explain that it’s one big table and we want the people around you to enjoy their meal. They pay a lot of money for this meal. It became even a distraction for the chef,” said Moe Issa, owner of Chef’s Table at Brooklyn Fare.
HOW? HOW IS IT A DISTRACTION FOR THE FUCKING CHEF? WHY IS THE CHEF IN THE DINING ROOM BEING "DISTRACTED" AND NOT IN THE KITCHEN COOKING? TELL PRINCESS TO GET BACK IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN AND STOP LETTING HIS MEXICAN LINE COOKS MAKE ALL THE DISHES THAT HE THEN TAKES ALL THE CREDIT AND RECEIVES ALL THE ACCOLADES FOR.
It's not one big table. It's a series of small tables. Each having their own unique, individual dining experiences with different meals and different conversations and different priorities. One table might want a full course-out with a dozen different items all prepared by the
Oh, flash photography is distracting? Really? Ruins the whole night for everyone, does it? So does that also mean you will no longer allow groups of friends to take pictures of each other documenting what is clearly an enjoyable experience, or else they wouldn't be taking the photos in the first place? Or couples celebrating an engagement, an anniversary, a night away from the kids? Or birthdays? Or families visiting from across the country all getting together for this one meal? You're also going to put an end to all of that too?
And if we're talking about things we find distracting that lessen the enjoyment of our dining experiences: Crying babies. Restaurants that think they're nightclubs. Asshole servers. Slow servers. Obtrusive servers. Crying babies. Adults who lack internal volume control mechanisms. Drunk people. Asshole customers having asshole conversations in the too-close tables because the restaurant is trying to cram as many bodies in a room as possible, effectively making everyone table-mates. Restaurants that try to cram as many bodies in a room as possible, effectively making everyone table-mates. Crying babies. Loud music. Shitty music. Loud, shitty music. Over-eager sommeliers. Sommeliers that don't want to be bothered. Having to wait for a table. Having to wait over an hour for a table. Being ignored by the bartender while waiting over an hour for a table. Crying babies. Miserable acoustics that make the drone of dinner conversation a fully surround-sound experience. Places that are library-quiet. Lighting that is too bright. Lighting that is too dim. Pampered princess prima donna precious snowflake chefs who let their Mexican line cooks do all the work while they give interviews with the New York Times. TVs. TVs everywhere. TVS EVERYWHERE. Crying babies.
Will you ban all of these things too?
Guys, how about you not try to impose your draconian dining room rules to govern what you think my dining experience should be under the pretense of what's best for me. Generally people cringe at laws being passed that limit their freedoms under the umbrella of what's best for them. The National Socialist Party did that a lot. Generally people cringe at anything that reminds them of the National Socialist Party.
Here's a thought: how about you do you and I do me? You worry about making the food and serving it to me and I'll worry about how, when and in what manner I will eat it.
Also, as someone who works in this industry and must regularly deal with befuddled restaurant owners who just don't "get" free advertising, I see so many ways in which owners absolutely, spectacularly fail at taking advantage of 100% at-no-cost-to-them opportunities at free publicity (in my line of work it is often a failure to return multiple calls requesting nothing more than a 20-minute interview). Allow me to break this down simply for all of you: THIS IS FREE PROMOTION. FREE. IT COSTS YOU NOTHING. OTHER PEOPLE ARE PROMOTING YOUR RESTAURANT FOR YOU AND ARE EVEN PAYING YOU FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF DOING SO.
Now bring me some fucking food so I can take a dozen pictures of it at different angles with and without flash and upload them to Instagram to my 600+ followers and to Facebook to my 5,000+ followers and to Twitter to my 2,000+ followers all with the name of your restaurant tagged and linked to your own social media pages so all of my collective thousands of followers have a direct link back to you. YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME.
*Except Chicago. Fuck Chicago.
